24 November 2017

I love this new chemo – apart from my cough there are almost no side effects. I am awake for four hours during the night, but it is quiet and peaceful and I feel fit. I hear the rain, watch a good movie, read a bit and at 5:30am Leo joins me and cuddles and we sleep for another good hour. I feel emotionally strong, have a few appointments and look forward to going out tonight!

The coughing comes back by lunchtime… ahhh! I am exhausted. I get my throat lasered again and the infection is apparently better, but the coughing is horrible and I cannot talk….grrrr!

There are a lot of new babies around and I just love them. It makes me realize though that due to the chemo I will never ever be able to be pregnant again, which makes me sad. I would probably not have had any more kids, but the fact that this decision was taken away from me bothers me. If I had been younger, I would have considered freezing a few eggs, but not at the age of 44 and I am over the moon that I have Leo and Mia, which already was a miracle I would not have imagined when I turned 40 ❤

OK, I need to go out – guys, I gonna see you at Kuen! Just don’t make me talk 😉

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… the very sorry state of my lashes 😦

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