Tea - yes - tea - it is not unusual for me to drink tea, but it is unbelievable that just the thought of coffee makes me sick - that happened last time during the first days after my EC chemos 🤦‍♀️ ....but I enjoy my tea and am actually contemplating whether to go coffee... Continue Reading →

Old?!? Yes, I am 45 and I could easily be the mother to a 25 year old, but do I feel old?!? No! And really?!? 45 is not old.... older than 25 and 35, but far away from old.... Mädelsabende's theme this week has triggered my thoughts though! There were definitely a lot of moments... Continue Reading →

My cold is a bit better and I make an effort.... I try to bake a cake with the kids - had promised to do it for days and feel guilty - and feel that my energy drains and the bottom of the baking pan falls off - the springform literally springs - and the... Continue Reading →

I forget the easiest things, am overstrained looking after my kids, exhausted and tired and yes, I could just stay at home apart from doctor appointments, but I would probably get depressed.... I try though, make an effort, take Mia along to physio without a shower and a child that resembles a dandelion clock. I... Continue Reading →

#10yearchallenge #2008 #2018 2008 was a big year for me! I was dating Markus, but still going to sea, I had no kids and no obligations, but paid off the last bit of mortgage left on my little flat in cologne...my ex Nick contacted me after disappearing for ten years, I went skiing and I... Continue Reading →

Alaaf!! I rocked today, dropped off Leo, took Mia along to my running Mamas, went shopping and got a trim and even managed my household aid cancelling and a dentist appointment.... I am exhausted, but as my cousin and her daughter entertain my kids, I quickly throw together a costume, as I have just been... Continue Reading →

I have yet another sleepless night! To be mindful is to name your feelings and to accept them and right now, there is grief and sadness, which are choking me and I am sobbing, as I read the words my late childhood friend Sandra's husband sends me along with some beautiful pictures. It is unbelievable... Continue Reading →

There is no rain and the sun is out.... oh, it feels so good! Pure bliss! Mum stays until I finish Music therapy and see my psychologist, the builder is hopefully fixing our floor for the last time and I want to go out with the kids after Leo finishes kindergarten.... I try to do... Continue Reading →

Despite tiredness beyond belief, I have a sleepless night and thank goodness there is "Babylon Berlin"... I am completely hooked on this tv series - brilliant - and actually finish it! My muscles are tense and my bones hurt.... and then I have the idea of the century! Since Friday I am allowed to swim... Continue Reading →