11 June 2018

My first day of freedom?!? Not really! It is nice not to go to radiation for a change, but the next lot of appointments is waiting….

I have a lovely breakfast with Andrea and Simone, but then my gynecologist Dr. Rix confirms that it does not look like that my period is coming back, which means that I won’t have to get the injections to oppress any ovary activities while on anti hormone therapy.

My oncologist Dr. Reiser explains the new chemo cycle, which will start on Thursday. I have to taken Cepectabin (a form of Xeloda) each morning and evening for the duration of two weeks and then pause for one week. Side effects are usually skin irritations on hands and feet and I shall try not to wear tight shoes, as once I have blisters they tend to not heal easily…. ok. He said I should be careful with the sun for one year post chemo anyway and the same goes with this chemo…. what else? Colon issues, nausea, vomiting can happen, but if so, I shall call. We are starting with a small dosage and increase it in week two and then I shall see him again…. I can go away once I know how my body reacts and am allowed to do anything that is good for me.

I am sad now and neither have the time nor the energy to visit Sabrina in Hospital, but will try to do it tomorrow…. I am not happy about having gained weight, not happy to face another chemo and briefly discussed the anti hormone therapy with Dr. Reiser…. if I will do it, I will try Tamoxifen, as there is no medical indication that suggests that I should choose the heavier anti hormone therapy.

I am sitting in the tube with my box of chemo pills and feel alone and frustrated. I pick up Mia and try to do a little plan of what is ahead of me in the next few months…. if I have to do the full dosage, I will be taking my last chemo pills on November 21 😳 additionally our household aid Jessica is sick and I hope all will fall into place anyway!

Highlight of my day – chemo nurse Frau Fassbender – it is great that I will see her again on a regular basis 😀 and somehow it feels good that my blood is being checked and that they will continue documenting my blood levels in my old chemo booklet. Having a routine will also be nice, as it will give my weeks a rhythm…. time to clean myself up and do that next chemo!

Sports for my #stepupfor30 challenge for Bowel Cancer UK – it is Yoga tonight, so I don’t have to think about doing anything else 🙏

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