16 August 2018

Why are there no longer steamer trunks – the QE2 guests had them for the world cruise and I could clearly do with a couple for my 12 days away from home …. there is simply no energy to pack light!

The other heavy baggage I take along is grief. My insta friend Erin passed away in remission from radiation pneumonia – the aftermaths of treatment …. please all look after yourselves, even when treatment is over ❤️

I have to handle it, yes, but all the sad and devastating cancer news amongst my insta community just hits me so hard. We bring normality into cancer life, show the happy sides, the funny sides, but there is always this frightening sight, lurking around the corner. It does not matter how strong, how positiv, how fit or feisty you are – cancer does not play fair. This is what scares me most…. but today is full of happiness and I am grateful beyond belief, sucking in every minute of our holiday!

Sea, sand, happy kids and my first meeting ever with my Instafriends Merle and Geraldine. Merle is my bosombuddy and it is amazing to finally connect in real life with those two wonderful women. Thank you Instagram!

Nobody understands these connections, which often give me more than most of my ‘normal’ friends, as only we understand what it is like to have a chemo brain, a chemo hangover, ups and downs within seconds and all the emotional and physical turmoil you get along with mix of diagnosis, treatment and kids…. I am grateful that we found each other – we miss Paula, but I will see her Saturday ❤️

2 thoughts on “16 August 2018

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  1. I know what you mean – cancer friends VS normal friends. There’s a shorthand and an understanding between those of us who have cancer or had cancer and the people in our lives who don’t. It’s hard for them to understand why I’m always late, tired, happy, unhappy…

    My husband is suffering from depression going on year four and no end in sight. He cannot cope with potentially losing me but doesn’t realize he will if it continues to go properly treated. It’s a very selfish disease and has caused years of potential joy to vanish behind me. In and of itself cancer and treatments are exhausting but combined with his disease it’s not possible to pick myself up sometimes.

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