17 October 2018

What a tough day it was yesterday … emotionally – I need a while to digest it and I have a restless night.

The Avène post cancer treatment also caters to the emotional side effects of the therapy and after the Art Therapy last week, I am attending two group sessions with the psychologist – the discussion café and the photolangage session.

The discussion café is a round table with other patients, where each tells her story…. mainly breast cancer stories and mainly positive and strong stories of descending out of the cancer fiercely, but also broken, there are tears and sadness, when the sacrifices are being discussed, the weight that lays on the children, the loneliness, people, who leave us, the fatigue, the emotional rollercoaster rides …. we all cry, but feel empowered by the strength and positivity and the last lady to tell her stories, faces us again with the horrors and the unfairness of cancer.

She is sixty and has a rare blood condition and head and back pain proved to be metastasis …. all over her body with no possibility of treatment, as chemo and radiotherapy are not possible due to her blood condition and no doctor wants to take the risk. She is strong, emotional and positive and it scares me once again, as I look into the ugly face of cancer…. I hate you!

Straight away, we enter into the photolangage, but I am the only person who stays. Three new patients arrive, one, who I know from Art Therapy and there are plenty of photos layed out on the table in front of us. We have to choose four pictures each that we feel drawn to…and after the second women tells her story, we all cry….I am more emotional since having had my diagnosis and it is enough for me for the day. The last woman does not even manage to tell her story and we all leave drenched and very emotional. Yes, it helps, I am sure, but it is a process to face your emotions and for me, I have to think about it all night.

On a brighter note – the sun is out….. I start the morning tired, but positive and close my eyes as the sun rays touch my face. The valley shimmers in the brightest colours and we are eager to go outside, walk around, maybe play minigolf and just enjoy our time together until my Pilates class.

Having the kids here, does not leave me any time to myself outside the therapy and classes, but I am happy to spend quality time with them and the last week I will be all by myself and I look forward to that too.

Check out Stella McCartney’s breast cancer awareness campaign – it fits in well with the amazing women I met yesterday….

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