5 November 2018

Flashbacks…. but good ones! I am in St. Vinzenz Hospital for the preparations for my operation tomorrow and the ambulant treatment center is in fact the former maternity ward, which closed down last year!

This is where I had Leo and Mia, the bench I am sitting on, I was last sitting with contractions before having Leo – when nobody thought I had any and I had the regular pre anaestetic talks for a c-section a few day later …. and that evening I had my first baby!

I bump into nurse Esmeralda… she is still here…. and I am full of nostalgia, when I realize that it is actually the palliative ward though which I am strolling casually. I choke and there it is again – my cancer world…. I think about bone metas and quickly push that thought away! It is just a torn tendon and a shattered bone…. that’s it!

Four hours later I leave the hospital with the information that they will put screws in my finger…. Oups…. that is something I did not expect and yes, the need to be removed in December… I guess I underestimated the whole thing, but hey, at least it did not spoil my cruise!

The treatment treadmill has me back though…. I need to schedule physio therapy and lymph drainage, need to see the alternative practitioner, go to therapy, my onchologist and the gynecologist …. and the dentist, while there is a pile of paperwork waiting…. that will do 😉

Highlight of my day – the lantern procession in Kindergarten for St. Martin’s day… with horse, music and excited kids, who cannot wait to show me the lanterns they made (yes, I have seen them already, but who cares)…. I want the smell of fire, Glühwein and horses, the bras music that somehow always brings tears to my eyes, kids with cold noses and all smiles, while the lanterns swing in the wind. We used to have real candles, when I was a child with at least a couple of lanterns on fire and crying kids … we still have torches though for the smell and therefore there are no sentimental feelings having electric lights, but rather a relief that I don’t have to deal with fire dramas today…. I certainly hope so…. and I realize that I still need to get winter boots for the kids 🤦‍♀️

Next highlight?!? I loooove Christmas and the next weeks will be decoration blasts, cookie baking orgies, singing, drinking, making calendars…. I love it! End of the month the Christmas markets open …. whooohooo and since I spent last year in hospital, I will live it up this year and then I can recover in rehab with Paula… oh, wait…. not really 😂