28 November 2018

Today is THE day!! 15 months of active treatment are over… the last chemo pills are waiting for me tonight!

4 EC chemo

12 T Chemos

3 operations

1 pneumonia

1 thrombosis

1 mouth sore

Colds & bone aches & pains paired with emotional rollercoaster rides…

28 radiations

1 stretcher torn with a splintered bone

8 cycles of Xeloda chemo pills

The list is long, but active treatment is coming to an end and I only have the aftermaths… I am waiting for check-ups in December, the removal of the screws in my finger in January, which is hopefully followed by rehab…. and then I need to find my new normal – a life without a household aid and with a job…. already the thought overwhelms me, but I hope by February/ March I will be strong enough to balance what I have to do with what I actually can do…. Pfew!

There are certainly positive side effects though:

I know myself better and I listen to my body more and more, try to be more mindful, am awefully grateful for what I have and try not to think about what I don’t have… I rearranged my circle of friends and gained a lot of new friends! I learned how to use Instagram and it became me self help group, while I discovered this strong cancer community and its supporters, which means the world to me! I do charity work now and love it and feel that I am doing meaningful things…. I am more in the here and now and try to no longer think about the past and only a little bit about the future. I follow my heart and am open to fully live my potential, I want to take more risks and OK is not good enough any more….. watch this space, I am only starting 😉

And I learned how to say NO!

No to too much work

No to too much negativity

No to people who use me

No to things I don’t REALLY want…

Mia and I will open the Christmas market season today and the last pills will be taken with Glühwein!

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