7 September 2017

It is the day of the B2B run, but my colleagues are running without me, as I have to be early early and sober in Holweide…

I am there with another 9 women to be operated. They have appr. 600/ year!

Prof. Dr. Warm is really nice and explains that they will first mark the two tumors (No.2 is only 5mm – I did not feel it, but he pointed it out and there it was… felt like a little pea under my skin) and then they will remove the little one during the operation.

Prof. Dr. Breidenbach told him about my plans to fly to Munich the following day and he said that this should not be an issue πŸ™‚

I get an aditus and in the MRT they locate the tumors, stick some massively long and thin needles into my breast to where it is, put me into the MRT again to see, if it is in the right location and do the same again. It is not nice and I have these long wires sticking out of my breast πŸ˜‰ – they tape them and I can go and check in to station B5. My escort should take my little suitcase, but I have no escort and manage alright. Feel a bit lonely though.

In B5 they nurse asks me to remove all my jewellery and put on the operation shirt. I have a little wristband with Mias name, which I cannot get off – she says that it has to go…. and I cry – Breast Care Nurse Frau Eßer gives me some tissues and says that we can tape it πŸ™‚ She also gives me a heart shaped pillow – there are volunteers, who make them and apparently they are the hot stuff for breast cancer patients, as they give the sentinals a bit breathing space, they also take pressure of car seatbelts off the port. Thank you!!

There are no single rooms anymore, so I meet Elke – she is almost 60 and survived breast cancer 7 years earlier… now she have ovary cancer. It was discovered quite late and a lot had to be removed…. make a mental note to insist on vaginal ultrasounds in the future, as this is the only way you can see this early enough!

I wake up in the late afternoon and feel slightly sick… was not allowed to eat or drink all day and it is past 4pm…I drink, take some medication and Markus comes to see me. I am so tired and sick that I don’t want to talk and he seems quite relieved, when the oncological psychiatrist arrives to introduce herself – I cannot face that and tell her that I will see her the next day. She has just left and I have to throw up all the water again – Wow, sudden relief! I feel good and have some bread πŸ™‚

I get a massive amount of messages and I am really touched! I will post it on Facebook, but for now I am busy enough with the flood of love and attention coming my way and it helps me a lot to talk about it and feel being loved!!!

Prof. Dr. Warms comes to see me late that evening, tells me that all was good – apart from quite a bit of milk, which made their job difficult, but nothing else was found and the sentinals look ok! “Have a nice flight!”

I cannot sleep as I am not a back sleeper and due to the sentinal and breast operation on one side and the port on the other side, it is the only position I can possibly imagine… well, Elke cannot sleep either and chat away πŸ™‚

I download the audio book “Am Arsch vorbei ist auch ein Weg” and the voice of the author is tiring enough to make me dose off.

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