15 January 2018

Chemo drenches any liquid out of your body. My throat, my skin, all is dry and despite permanent moisturizing, it is getting worse! Thank god the end is near and kudos to all the endless supply of lotions and cremes I have been given – how did you guys know?!?

To treat my skin, I am seeing a beautician today. Margot Hornecker was nice and a fellow breastcancer survivor, but was fully booked and I was more wowed by her prices than by the experience! Therefore I tried Melanie’s recommendation vis a vis in the Syringe pharmacy today. This Persian lady is funny, I grow an inch after all her compliments and my skin feels really nice afterwards and…. tatatataaaa….she tints my new blond eyebrows and – wow – I have eyebrows again! Sure everyone says that I look well, etc., but when I look in this face without (visible) eyebrows in the morning, it is a cancer patient, who looks back at me…. hurray to my eyebrows! What a difference ❤️

“I want to stay longer and Mia wants to stay longer too!” …. I miss my kids, but that is the only information I am getting on the phone. Well, better than the other way around – we are extending their stay…and I miss them!

I try to coordinate all my appointments, try to register for music or art therapy, try to find out when the operation is and get frustrated, as there are everywhere too many people involved! I visit PAN Clinic and HRG to get my paperwork done, which chemo brain forgets at PAN Clinic, have a coffee with Sonja and rush to physio in Müngersdorf. The physio lady is nice, but somehow I am always in a bad mood, when I leave, as I do not get all the exercises and feel like an idiot.

I have no energy to make a decision on our skiing trip and I am worried that it will be too much…. Post operation is no option, but I will see, if we can go skiing locally instead. I just don’t want to jeopardize it all together…

I am really tired again, but work on the paperwork for the genetics test, notice that I need a referral from PAN clinic….. daaaa…. I could have easily gotten that today and I am in a foul mood now. I have no energy, feel exhausted and cannot cope with these mood swings… I was a bit melancholic this morning, but cheered up and I don’t know what happened!! I feel lonely, sad and I could cry….. Just like that 😢

I have to make an effort to go to yoga….but maybe I will just go to bed.

Old eyebrow hairs on the right hand side: two – new ones: millions 🤗

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