3 February 2018

It is a tough day with mixed emotions, a lot of tears, but also happy memories and laughter. It helps so much to have my school friends there and to hold and support each other, but I leave with a heavy heart full of sadness and sitting on the train to take me back to my ‘normal’ life, I feel drenched and alone.

Death is something, which I have not been thinking about much lately. The thought was there in the early days around my diagnosis and sometimes in between, but today it was so present, so close and I still think that it is so unfair…..life is fragile and so am I today.

I had never heard of the Friedwald concept, where one gets buried in the forest by a tree, but it is something that suits Sandra and I would consider it for myself.

I am extremely tired and on one hand happy to have a little time by myself before Markus and the kids come home, since Markus is going to the Kettcar concert tonight and I need to be fit for the kids. On the other hand, I cannot wait to be with them, as they are full of life and happiness and unconditional love and mean the world to me ❤️.

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