4 February 2018

Yes, yes, yes, today is world cancer day! I do my best to raise awareness and cancer research has gone a long way, but still needs more support to go further and one day beat the beast all together!

Anyone can get it, nobody is safe and there is nothing you can do…..but if you have cancer, you are not alone! I am amazed by all the support I am getting – I am much more on a receiving than a giving end lately and I appreciate it a lot! My family & friends, strangers, doctors, other patients, charities, anyone, who I am in contact with and this whole social media network are amazing – thank you for being there!

I am awake during the night, sleepless, thirsty and tired, but no rest for the wicked. Mia starts singing at 5:30 and I get up at 6:15….. I enjoy it though, bake my first mini pancakes ever and Leo joins us. I am exhausted though, when Markus gets up and takes over, but full of happiness ❤️ The rest of the day, I spend in bed and hope it I will be ok again tomorrow 🙄

It is Sunday and hard not to be fit enough for the kids, especially, as they are so sweet and caring, when Leo says he also needs a rest and joins me, as it is quite difficult to rest alone and then teaches me all about his paper aeroplane in great length all details …. It just makes me feel weak and lonely and I feel I am not living up to their expectations, but I do not have the strength to get up, leave alone go outside and join them on their trip to the zoo. I don’t even manage a shower 😜….This is what I hate most about the cancer though – the distance I feel it sometimes brings between the children and me! Then again, I am probably just having one of these very thin skinned and emotional days 😉

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