5 February 2018

Today is a good day – I slept next to Leo, who was not feeling well, trying to not fall out of bed and having his feet in my face, but full of happiness and I feel much better and stronger today. I will take it easy, as I need to be fit for my last chemo on Wednesday and for my trip next week. I have not even thought about it much – I guess sun protection should be my greatest concern, as chemo patients should by all means avoid the sun. I will take care of that tomorrow 😉

No matter how I feel, I always get up with the kids and we have breakfast together, but I often return to bed with coffee number two after they leave. This is where I am now, the sun is shining into my face and I am enjoying the peace and quietness. I meditate and it it is time to get up, dress up, put some make-up and embrace this beautiful day. Today I feel gratitude for what I have – I am really lucky!

Thursday is the start of Karneval and I still have to dig out our costumes, but we have so many, that I do not really worry. I love Karneval and my brother Micky and his sons will stay with us and on Monday, I invited everyone to our ‘open house’ breakfast, which I have been doing for years. I am an open house person in my normal life, but since being diagnosed with cancer, I no longer want visitors and rather meet somewhere else. Maybe it is the fact that I can easily leave at any time, if I am not well? I don’t know… this is different though!

I meet Hannah for a quick coffee (for a change in Café Wohnraum 😉) before physio and I am all happy until Prof. Dr. Breidenbach cancels my appointment for the next day and I panic… By the afternoon it is rescheduled, but these little things completely throw me off track lately… I pick up Leo and spend the afternoon with the kids, as much as I can and decide not to go to yoga. I do not want to risk anything and rather rest than do too much – lesson definitely learned here 😉 …. and Markus is happy that he can go instead.

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