28 August 2018

A year ago today, I was at breakfast with my mummy friends, relieved that I had both kids in day care for the first time ever and a couple of weeks left for myself before returning to work…. just then, I remembered that I wanted to see my gynecologist because of that knot…. I was luck to get an appointment straight away, which I postponed to Wednesday due to the kids…. but then I changed my mind, asked our babysitter to take over and went to see Dr. Rix.

“Oh, it’s probably a cyst, as you just stopped breastfeeding, but let me have a look!” The only thing I have ever seen on the ultrasound were eggs, babies and anything positive, but there was this black lump… and that fact that she tried to call a colleague there and then, worried me! She made an appointment with Prof. Dr. Breidenbach for a biopsy the next day and said it could be anything… but how she held my hand and wished me good luck, worried me again…. I had known her for years – it was that look!

Today I am with my physio therapist and she says that I should get an ultrasound of my breast, as something is strange….. hopefully just water, maybe the haematoma started to finally dissolve or maybe a lyphoedema… now I have flashbacks…. I get an appointment for Monday… and again I have flashbacks…. it was the Monday before my yoga and wellness retreat last year that I went to Dr. Rix…. but what can I do?!?

Shopping! I need a dress for the Dreamball in Berlin – whoohooo … I am so excited to go – and sometimes I think that I have developed a shopping addiction, as I walk home with a dress, a sweater and some trousers and I don’t want to check my bank account…. but it was all on sale 😉

One thought on “28 August 2018

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  1. I feel the shopping thing with you. After my appointments I go look around and buy a new dress, pair of shoes, whatever…I think of it as a palette cleanser from cancer before I head home. It weirdly takes my mind off of things, although I know I shouldn’t spend any money. Maybe it’s some thrill of knowing I’m doing something wrong and a little selfish but maybe about looking better than I feel? Who knows…

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