15 September 2018

I drag myself through the day, as I feel exhausted already when waking up, but manage to go to town with Leo, get a haircut, while the kids and Markus have lunch and attend swimming lessons with a Leo, who refuses to go into the water…. and I can barely keep my eyes open afterwards….

I grab a very late lunch and eat on the playground and then I can’t do it any more and leave Markus and the kids in the icecream parlor and return home in the late afternoon by myself….. I break down, physically and emotionally.

I cry in front of my kids as they return home and it hurts me, as I have never been good with disharmony, always want everything to be nice, easy and peaceful….. but the world isn’t like that and I really have my issue with negativity and stress and cannot handle it really well. I calm myself down though and cuddle with them and will be in bed super early.

When I think about problems or arguments, I am in such a weak position right now…. I need my energy to manage my days and I have no extras left for any discussions or problems. When I return to work, I need to be stronger than this otherwise I will not even make it to lunchtime 😉 The annoying thing about this fatigue is that there is no break from it, not time to recover, no pause …. and that is what I am missing! Just one day with energy – just one that does not feel so tiring.

On a positive note – my haircut makes such a difference to me…. bye bye poodle head! Thank you Fadime ❤️ I am ready to rock the Muddy Angel Run tomorrow – at least I look like it!