4 October 2018

One year ago, I celebrated my 44th birthday with my closest friends in Mercato Deluxe – one of my favorite places in Cologne – not knowing what layed ahead of me….but I wanted to have a nice evening with some of the people I cared about most and live the moment!

When Christina shaved my head October 1st, days after my second EC chemo, we left a few millimeters, as my chemo buddy Katja said that she got spots, as she shaved it all off and my brother, who also sports a bald head, recommended not to give it a wet shave …. the stubbles were in patches though and for two days I wore a beanie, as it looked really sick.

The morning of October 4th 2017, I took the clippers and said good bye to the last bit of hair. It was uplifting and I liked it actually, but wasn’t 100% secure to go outside all bald. As I arrived in the restaurant, I got the typical hot flushes and took my beanie off…. and by the end of a wonderful evening, it felt normal to be bald – “I cannot even remember what you looked like before. It feels so normal!” my cousin wondered as we said good bye.

And today, I am starting chemo cycle 6/8…. and I will see my onchologist because of my stinking cold and coughing – I need to be fit for Avène…. and I will probably cancel my coffee & cake guests (I purposely did not plan an evening out, as my new bed time goes in line with the kids’ sleeping patterns) – but I will also dress up for the occasion, enjoy my day and have champagne!

One more thing – I did not read any cancer books, I just did not want to…. and it took me ages to listen to the “You, Me and the big C” podcast – actually I only listened properly after Rachael died and Emma encouraged me!

Today though, Deborah’s book “F*** you, Cancer!” is out and I downloaded the audio book! Check it out – I did not start it yet, but I know it will be amazing, because this woman is amazing…. she manages her life with stage IV bowel cancer, is funny, witty and goes by the name of Bowelbabe …. I think that tells you all …. next on the list is Emma’s book “All that followed!”, but there is no audio version … yet… and I am determined now to continue writing my book! Watch this space…. but bring plenty of time 😉

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