Back into working life!!

I am a busy bee, as I try to finish off what I started before returning to work. This involves cleaning, tidying, sorting out paperwork, working on my blog and preparing my book & other ideas…. the whole lot! I want to have a clear and fresh mind, when I am marching back into my ‚old‘ professional life!

April 1st marks the day I am returning to working life after three years of ‚leave‘ – half of it due to maternity leave and half of it due to cancer! Three years is a long time, but I am glad there is a slow ‚getting used to it‘! I am slowly getting used to working!

My boss and company, HRG, are extremely cooperative here. They give me a ‚buddy‘ (one of my favourite colleagues actually) let me run through the different departments like a new employee and I love the approach. I will start a bit in the background and slowly move to front row at my own pace.

As far as my therapies are concerned (I still need to have weekly lymph drainage and regularly see my psycho therapist along with all the medical check ups I have and the rehab sport I was perscribed), they are flexible and we will build my work schedule around it!

Now, I am mentally ready to go step by step back into working life and the next steps will be finding my new normal in the working world, seeing how I handle every day life with work, kids and household tasks, while trying to maintain the sport routines and therapies….the next big step workwise will be the transition from HRG to American Express GBT, who took over globally, but that is the next but one step 😉

My plan:

Week 1 & 2 – 2 hours a day

Weeks 3 – 3 hours a day

Week 4 & 5 – 4 hours a day

Week 6 – 5 hours a day

Then back to 6,2 hours a day!

Two hours seem ridiculous to some, but I shall report what it feels like. I am literally going from a concentration span of minutes to two hours. Now that is a change in perspective, right?!? My brain is slow and foggy and sometimes I have difficulties finding the right words….watch this space – it might be interesting!

The plan for the reintegration was suggested by the social services in rehab and already sent to my employer, while I was still there. The maximum they can suggest are six weeks, but they said that I probably need longer and that my doctor can adjust the plan at any time, while the reintegration is still in progress. See a list of options below as to how it can work.

Now that it is this close and after discussing it with my boss, I actually look forward to going back!

Because there were a few questions already – here are the three reintegration modells (I am aware of) for your way back into working life after being ill for a while:

Reintegration Modell A

You are signed off sick. The 18 months of sick pay have not been completed and your doctor suggests a reintegration schedule. During rehab you receive your benefits from the pension fund, but afterwards you return to receiving sick benefits from your health insurance company. Your employer agrees and you start your reintegration, while still receiving sick benefits! This reintegration schedule is flexible and there is no fixed time frame, but anything up to six months is normal. The reintegration is ‚managed‘ by your doctor and your health insurance company.

Reintegration Modell B

You have been sick for longer than 18 months and no longer are entitled to sick pay from your health insurance. You have been to rehab and received payments from the pension fund. During rehab, the social service will suggest a reintegration plan and send it to your employer, who has to agree to it. If you start reintegration with four weeks after finishing rehab, the pension fund will continue to pay until you finish reintegration. The reintegration is ‚managed‘ by your doctor and the pension fund – the rules seem a bit stricter here.

Reintegration Model C

You are sick for more than 18 months, the pension fund pays during rehab, but you need to register with the unemployment office and ask for their benefits once you reach the 18 months and model B does not apply. The reintegration schedule is suggested by your doctor and ‚managed‘ by your doctor and the department for the chronically ill at the unemployment office.

Me? I am sporting model B 😉

The reason I have not seen any money from the pension fund is actually due to the fact that Markus work still had to sign a document concerning how much leave he took during my rehab time. Now that this is done, I really hope to get some cash!

This is to #friendship – I am chillaxing and reflecting! I have the best friends and even, if I see or speak to some of them only randomly, we always just continue where we stopped last time!

My circle of friends changed after my cancer diagnosis, but I am absolutely ok with people, who no longer play a role in my life, with some, who moved from leading part to extra, grateful for some friends I am closer with and some new friends, who moved into my life ❤️

Benni passed away this morning and I am glad that we arranged a breakfast with our cancer blogger buddies! The mood is a bit depressed, but it is soothing that we all have each other ❤️

I leave with a heavy heart, which is full of appreciation for our connection, the cancer community and it goes to Benni’s family! I have to put my shades on, as the sun is so bright!

In his last post, he says „The journey has always been the reward“ and that „life is beautiful“ – Benni showed determination, resilience and serenity until the end and I love his motto „more humour than tumour“! Benni, I squeeze my eyes, look into the sun and salute to you ❤️

I moan about my skin, which is breaking out everywhere and catapults me back into puberty. Is this a problem?!? Not really, as this is when I learn that fellow cancer blogger Benni from Cancelling Cancer posted his last post – he has probably only days left ….

Benni has been diagnosed with bowel cancer nine years ago aged 20 and has put a lot of work and effort into his blog, organizations and awareness with a lot of humour (I love his humour) and serenity! He is the head of the „Young adults with cancer“ group, our „Cancer blogger“ group and some others and brought us all together….thank you, Benni! Thank you for continuing to inspiring all of us ❤️

I have no words, but cannot stop thinking about you and your family!

„Giving up is not an option“ – that is what it says on the bracelet Kerstin from Sasasum sent me today…. What a perfect timing!

I learned today that a family friend – a young mother – got the diagnosis breastcancer and Natalie from Blogger4Charity is currently waiting for confirmation that the tumor in her breast is hopefully benign. This along with all the metastasis, reoccurrences and complications the cancer community is facing lately, makes me awfully sad.

On the other hand, I am proud of all these strong women and grateful to be part of this club, where nobody wants to be a member, but once you are, you meet the most amazing women! The bond, unity, strength and silent understanding are amazing and something I no longer want to miss! I think the limit is reached though and I am sad for any new member!

Cancer research has advanced tremendously and there are a lot of success stories, but the people who’s story is anything but success, could not care less about the little percentage their are part of…. statistics don’t help us really, as you never know which side of the statistic you are on!

Cancer – I hate you, you vicious creature! I will support breast cancer awareness and research as much as I can and hopefully we can soon refer to cancer as something that used to be scary, unpredictable and fatal – in the past tense! Like a wild creature, which has finally been tamed ❤️

Join me and others ‚club members‘ March 29 after 4:30pm for a breast cancer round table organized by Blogger4Charity in Hannover at Rossmann’s headquarter (Isernhägener Str. 16, 30938 Burgwedel) to learn about breast cancer, connect and exchange – no matter if you are already part of the club or will hopefully never be one!

My combat plan back into normal life is working!

I am living proof that you do not have to leave your home to do a significant part of your 10.000 daily steps…. I managed to generate 8.000 steps in our flat by running up and downstairs tidying up, sorting things and decluttering everything! Ok, I left the paperwork and admin stuff for now, but I feel I have achieved a lot!

Tonight I attended my first „women sports“ class with my kids‘ gym trainer and they did Tabata – I have just recovered from my sore muscles from yoga and tomorrow morning is LaufMamaLauf…. ouch! But I love it – I feel like I am doing something, do what I expected to do in rehab and my relaxation is yoga nidra – the yoga sleep – tomorrow night. I feel tired and exhausted, but alive and that this is the right thing to bring me back to speed!

Everyday life – I am getting ready – bring it on!

Two weeks to go until I start working… there is panic and the feeling that my life will be over…. I know that most people are longing to go back to work, but right now, I am a bit scared. Therefore I try to do as much as I can beforehand…. It will be tough to manage all my therapies and Sport around work, but to know, if I can do it, I have to give it a go!

Saturday I attend a yoga class at I’m possible yoga and today at 6:30 I return for a meditation. My muscles are still sore from Saturday and I feel that I did more sports than during the entire rehab…and I do ask myself though what the point is, as it is an unguided meditation, but I still enjoy it and am thankful for the people I meet…. They live in my neighbourhood, we are likeminded and I think that I will probably attend a course at Abheda’s studio, but since there are so many other classes I’d like to try, I put the thought away 😉

Two weeks left and so many plans ….. as usual, I will only realize a small fraction, but I am over the moon to finally have unpacked my rehab luggage – yeah! And is am successfully ignoring my paperwork… until tomorrow…. one step at a time!

Music therapy – it is that song „Home is where the heart is“…. I choke, feel sad and tears run down my face…. I still think about my friend Nick, about feeling homey, but also about being hurt, but I hope to overcome it one day! We continue to chant mantras and happy songs and I leave on a high though! I have a good session with my psychologist and focus on the next two weeks planning my way back into working life now!

#mindfulness is my focus not to get stressed during reintegration (or beforehand 😉) …. but I still need to work on my fitness!

Part of this process is looking after myself and asking Markus today to look after Mia for me to see my alternative practitioner! She reckons that I am exhausted and that in Chinese medicine, the osteopenia can be caused by a deep energy deficit and that it is the right way to go to look after myself!

I will try a women’s sport class around the corner, have now purchased a book of ten tickets for some yoga and meditation classes, will see, if a MBSR (mindfulness based stress reduction) course fits in somewhere and have a consultation meeting for rehab sport…. it sounds like a lot, but I need to find a way to build this into my daily life along with check ups and therapies I have to attend and I need to test my options now …. the most important thing is though that I need to stop anything that stresses me, but I need to try!

It is my quarterly check up with my gynaecologist and we need to discuss my reintegration….

„What do you mean? They only planned six weeks?!?“ She is shocked and has never heard that this is the maximum and that she can apparently adjust it, as she believes that the plan is set in stone.

The problem is that the reintegration is normally organized via the health insurance and not the pension fund, but as I am no longer entitled to sick pay, the pension fund is paying during my reintegration and hence it is probably slightly different…. and along comes a lot of paperwork – again!

I leave all the information I have for her to have a look and scheduled an appointment after the start of my reintegration to see how it goes and to discuss further steps, but need to verify with rehab’s social services that this is how it works… ahhh!

I just manage grocery shopping, tidying the flat, chiropody and the laundry, when Kindergarten calls – Mia has diarrhea again!

Highlight of my day – my childhood heartthrob Christian is a dentist nowadays, read about my troubles, made sure I know about bisphosphonate therapy risks and now had a look at my dental x-rays!

He offered trying to fix my teeth, which would save me from sky high special bills. Downturn is that if he does not succeed, I face loosing my two teeth, but it is the worst case scenario and hey, it is all the way in the back, I could get implants and for now, we are are taking one step at a time and keep our fingers crossed!

I will discuss it with my dentist tomorrow, but in any case – I am awfully grateful!

For the last two days, I had my Mojo back…. yeah! I had the feeling that I had energy and it was wonderful!

I did ask for normality and here it is – BAM! Normality hits me in the face…. Mia has a little bit of diarrhea this morning and my first reaction is panic, but I accept the challenge being my stronger self and see the positive! I decide to take her along to my running mamas (safely hidden away in the pram not to touch anything or anyone) and only drop off Leo in Kindergarten.

As I arrive, I face reality – BAM! This is when shit literal hits the fan or is simply everywhere…. ahhh! No sports, but a u turn to get Mia home…

What have I learned though?!? I spend quality time with Mia and still manage some household tasks and decide that baking has priority over showering ….

I am not back to normal though, have to ask Markus to finish work an hour earlier, have a sore throat and feel a bit weak – who am I kidding, I am completely exhausted – but I think I am stronger than a few weeks ago! And things like unpacking my luggage, will have to wait 😉