Day 9 – back to work! Reintegration in Germany is designed for you in order to make a smooth transition back into working life.

In theory, there are different models and you are being slowly moved into a your old routines. Does the shoe still fit you? Have a guess! I changed over the past 18 months and it is a tight fit. My new me, does not have the same principles, the same pace and not the same energy.

I am in the middle of this process at the moment and it is massive, as I was away for a total of three years having been on the last leg of my maternity leave, when I got the diagnosis….

Do I want to fit into my old life? No! The working life has to adjust around the new me and not the other way around.

My time is now so precious and I don’t want to waste it with nonsense! I only do what I want to do, am clear in articulating my needs and even clearer in sharing what I don’t like.

Fun fact – I am working completely free of charge right now, as I am still signed off sick, I don’t get a wage and should receive an allowance from the statutory pension fund! Now, guess what?!? They declined payments April 4 – starting I am not entitled, as I was on maternity leave for another ten days when I got diagnosed!!

I would not be this upset, if they had declined immediately, when I applied 3-4 months ago, but I should have been receiving the money since February 6!! What are they thinking?!? I filed an objection and am waiting for a reply…. if I don’t get the money, I will receive sick benefits from my health insurance until March 9 and then I have to apply for unemployment benefits!

I should concentrate on getting back into my job and instead, I have to deal with applications, paperwork, am spending endless hours in phone waiting loops and I am simply sick of it! I am dependent on officials, who seem not to care that there are humans and lives behind each and every insurance number! Shame of you!

My debts with Markus are high, but at least I have this option…. not everyone has that and on top of it, I am annoyed by all the paperwork – but thank goodness I am a native speaker! What do people do, who are not….

For now, I simply concentrate on the good things, ignore my finances as much as I can and try not to waste too much time and energy. Life is too precious!

Video: Nadine Heller Menzel

Wow, what has happened during the last two weeks?!? Crazy!

Attention! Attention! My little series of films needs to be interrupted for one day, as I’ve got news for you!

We have a podcast!! „2 women 2 bosoms“ (#2frauen2brüste) started with an idea, like many ideas! You think about it (a Lot and all the time), scribble, plan and don’t realize most of your ideas. This is an idea though, a heartfelt matter, that I wanted so badly and when I asked Paula to join me, she was immediately as excited! ….and so were Starwatch, ProSieben and Sixx, who are now realizing it with us! Wow!! Can you please pinch me?!? We look forward to working with you and are grateful for getting this platform and your support to raise awareness!

We want to talk about cancer and everyday life, the highs and the lows …. normally we write about cancer, raise awareness and try to take the tabu away from the subject and now, you can listen to us (in German though)! We shout it into the world, honest and without filters, with irony and humor without trivializing it, as cancer is a beast, wild and unpredictable!

We asked our communities to describe Paula and myself and we share the results and anecdotes in our first podcast, which we recorded in Munich on Friday!

Episode one will be launched in ten days, available on all the common podcast channels! We will share all the details and ask you to do the same! Spread the word – talk about cancer and our podcast!!

Whoooohoooo!! We are over the moon!

Day 7 – Networking through cancer…… the moment I got my diagnosis, I thought that I was alone. I did not know anyone my age, who had breast cancer, but I had the urge to talk about it, to get to know other patients…. what slowly grew were connections and friendships that will last forever!

Only someone, who is going through the same stuff can actually understand you and can joke about it the way you do, as humour takes the seriousness off the topic and all you want is normality!

Check out video clip 7!

Outlook – No 8 is about rehab and No 9 about reintegration into working life and we are over and done with my breast cancer story.

🎬 Nadine Heller Menzel

Day 6 – Do what is good for you – is the subject of the little clip no 6 of my breast cancer story captured by Nadine Heller Menzel!

You should, you must, you can’t… not a chance! You know what I have to do?!?! Nothing!

Well, everyone is different and what is good for me, might be a nightmare for someone else. I still share my point of view and maybe some people are like me and can benefit, but at the end of the day, you need to do what is good for you!

Day 5 if the series of clips telling my breast cancer story is all about therapy!

What treatments did I do? What was it like?

I was lucky and did not have too many side effects, but everyone is different! I did suffer from other things though… pneumonia, mouth soor, anal trombosis, I lost three tow nail several times, had burned open skin, super dry sinuses, no hair, no lashes, no brows, the skin on my feet was open, chemo brain, concentration issues, a hematoma in my breast, which is still there, and a wound that just did not want to heal leaving a inverted scar …that wasn’t nice, but overall, my blood results were always good, the therapy worked and I did not feel sick as a dog and that’s what I am grateful for! The main thing is though that therapy worked and I am still alive! I was one of the lucky ones!

🎬 Nadine Heller Menzel

In the 3rd little movie I talk about breaking the news! To tell someone that you have cancer can be hard, as you don’t want them to be worried, which they automatically are. Cancer is still a tabu and people close their eyes from the subject, think that they will never have anything to do with it and then you break the news to them…

Everyone is different and has to find their own way how to deal with the diagnosis, the therapy and everything and that is absolutely the way to go… you do it the way it feels right! I am a person, who talks a lot and therefore I spread the news and started to go public with my story, but there are people who keep it to themselves and don’t want to talk about it and that is absolutely ok as well. I speak on behalf of all of us in an attempt to raise awareness and take the fear and tabu a little bit away from the subject.

How do you break bad news?

🎬 Nadine Heller Menzel

I am online…. all is back to normal! Is it?!?

Well, yes and no – the topics are still the same, the clients & the colleagues only changed partially, my desk is the same and in my calendar are still all my regular entries from three years ago! There are routines and codes that are familiar, numbers I remember by heart and somehow it feels like I have not been away!

Then there is the new technology that I have to get used to, ok, but the IT guys and team colleagues are guiding me through, but the big difference is inside though! I have changed and this is what makes it all different! I am no longer the same, my priorities have changed and my mindset has as well…. but we are slowly getting to know each other – the new me and the old job!

While the familiar routines feel like a cosy safety blanket, the shoes I am trying to fit into are still a bit tight and need some getting used to and I am glad when I come home that I can slip into my worn out slippers 😉, as my routine at home seems to be working ok. We run out of bread and milk occasionally, I only do the laundry now and then, but we get by as Markus still supports me a lot with the kids! Thank you!

Cancer is still lurking around the corner…. but only occasionally and it is no longer the cardinal point and somehow, looking back, it never was – it played a main character, for sure, but never the lead! And yes, yesterday a back pain set my imagination running wild, but that is a small part of my new normal!

This is a post that has to stand alone – hence there are two today!! Today was Benni’s funeral!

#tobenni #elcheffe #cancellingcancer #krebsisteinarschloch #nomorewordsneeded