Welcome back to my cancer routines….. my aim – trying to maintain my new level of awareness through everyday life. Thank goodness my trial period is only two days long, as tomorrow I am off to London.

My guilty conscious is knocking on the door – I am leaving the kids again for another five nights…. but this trip down memory lane with 30 odd ex QE2 crew was booked more than two years ago and I cannot wait…. one night in a London and then off to Southampton! 1- 4 November will be spent onboard QM2 and it is also a trip back to my diagnosis….

26 August 2017, when I felt the knot in my breast, I was in the shower in a London hotel, getting ready to travel down to Southampton for a QE2 reunion …. but history won’t repeat itself! I am on my way to re-write it!

London is always sentimental, as I studied there, love it, had lovely business trips, met the key men in my life there – Markus and Nick – had the weirdest hair colours, cool jobs …

When you think that all is going according to plan, it is bound to change – my onchologist wants me to get an x-ray of my finger …. off to Pan clinic and I am lucky, they fit me in…. as I sit there waiting I have flash backs to the 31 August 2017, when I was waiting for my mammogram just before getting my diagnosis -breast cancer…. and I was here to get a CT of my thorax due to endless coughing…. I was diagnosed with pneumonia and only then, when the doctor gave me the results, I realize that they suspected metastasis…. third time lucky?!? Let’s see…. to use the time efficiently, I distribute #gibachtaufdich stickers and pins to the onchology staff and the radiology team. Waiting waiting waiting …. but I am happy that they squeeze me in 😉

The extensor is torn and there is a little piece of bone next to it, which should not be there…. I should see my doctor…great! I rush to pick up the kids and have the next appointment at 5pm…. did I mention that I have not started packing?!? You didn’t really think I had started?!? The flight is only tomorrow afternoon – plenty of time left 😂

Therefore I spend the evening again waiting for a doctor – Story of my life ….

🎵🎶🎵 Got my mojo workin’… 🎵🎶🎵 – the difference to the last few months is amazing… I no longer go through my day in a Fatigue bubble…. I have energy! Not a lot, but enough to get easily through the day…. wow! Thank you, Avène ❤️

We visit Markus‘ niece and my heart melts – what a wonderful miracle it is…. I could hold her for ever! I will never have a baby again, but that’s ok – I am so happy for them!

The next charity on my list – last but by no means least – is Blogger4charity …. a heartfelt cause to support!

Natalie started this charity to use the range for a good cause being a young cancer survivor herself. Blogger4Charity wants anyone to look after themselves, go to the doctor, of something does not feel right and insist to be checked properly, as Kim, who passed New Year’s Eve shouted out with #kimscrew and this is how her message continues to echo through the social media channels!

It is a heartfelt affair for them, as Natalie and all her crew run Blogger4Charity unpaid while working full-time in their regular jobs. They create events to raise money for patient projects and charities like Young Adult Cancer or LookGoodFeelBetter run by DKMS LIFE with attention to detail and a heart full of love that it is overwhelming!

Check them out, follow them and watch out for the next event – they are planning a festival! Chapeau Blogger4Charity and all the supporters!

Sick and tired of my charity spam?!?! We cannot talk enough about cancer and raise awareness for everyone to look after themselves!

I had my end of therapy exam with Dr. Petite yesterday! The skin is amazingly hydrated, the scar tissue in my breast shrank to 1/3 of it’s original size, the scars are all softer and my feet look soo much better! The chemo I take right now attacks the hands and soles of my feet, you get elefant skin and it bursts, but with this booster, I am ready to face my last two chemo cycles! Thank you, Avène ❤️

Chemo cycle 7/8 hast started…. despite the fact that I relaxed sooo much that I must get my head around to regularly taking the pills again, it is a wonderful feeling that the end is near! The finish line is this close ….

Being an unfair player, cancer pushed this line further for others – Sam seems to have lung metas…. she was in remission and started anti hormone therapy…. she is in her 20s!! She is strong as hell though and faces this amazingly brave and in her usual stylish way! Please look after yourself!

Full moon, baby! I am exhausted, but I have another two days to rest and relax…. awwww 🤗

Inner beauty is certainly key, when loosing your outer looks. Especially during my completely hairless days, it was essential for me to use make-up in order not to look like a pale version of Dobby the House Elf…or to at least have eyebrows. It is just facial hair, but loosing them was the worst for me…. I’d shave my head any day, but I love my eyebrows and lashes!

Today is my make-up seminar day at the Avène Thermal clinic. Did you know that look good feel better has a different name here? Oh, well, the French – it is called Belle & Bien, but it’s the same thing!

This is not one of these seminars, but I use the opportunity to draw your attention to these seminars. It is breast cancer awareness month and I introduce organizations that are active in this field and look good feel better is one of them! Whether you are in therapy or not, check them out…. they bring patients together and make them literally look good and feel better! Promise! They are held in a lot of hospitals all over the world, they are complimentary and you get to keep all the make-up products donated by renown brands – including Avène!

In Germany DKMS LIFE runs them and they are doing a wonderful job at it ❤️ Avène is one of the company, who supports them not only with products, but also financially through campaigns and train the beauticians, who are all volunteers… DKMS LIFE is entirely funded by donations!

It’s a wrap! We are shooting the final scenes today between my therapy, massage and Pilates and I am returning to normal cure life! It was great to work with Avène, but so am really tired now and look forward to my last two days in Avène…. amazing how time flies.

Résumé so far: My cancer fatigue generally improves though…. my tiredness has normal days now and I continue to make the most of the rest of my cure and it will include my digital detox windows 😉

My muscle tension, specially around the left breast/ shoulder improved a lot and the scar tissue is a lot softer.

The skin is more hydrated and the skin on my feet is softer…. it is still like elefant skin, but maybe baby elefant 😉

General mindset – I am calm and relaxed!

Tonight I am meeting with the other patients in my hotel, as Avène invites all for an aperitif …. and I realize that I seem to be the only cancer patient living in the hotel! Lucky me!! It will be nice to spend more time with them though!

It’s a wrap…. tomorrow we will film the last little scenes and then I have more time again for writing, relaxing and myself, but for now I am grateful to be distracted, as my bosom buddy Paula is waiting to find out, if she has skin metas and the pathology results will only be ready tomorrow and not as promised today….

waiting waiting waiting…. it is like a never ending story with cancer! You spend endless hours in waiting rooms, for scans, more important the results and despite the fact that you somehow develop a routine, it is horrible! Distraction is key and here we go:

Today my highlights are the medical make-up Seminar, which I had privately today for the film, but which I will have with some other patients Friday. It is really nice and I learn new tricks – which is inevitable, as the skin often shows what the body has been through and the acne and skin irritations are normal. I was lucky, but hey, I make an effort and a little spot decides to grow five minutes prior to the seminar 😉

The other set today is the Pierre Fabre lab, where I learn about the thermal springs and how the quality is monitored!

And just as I want to post it, the message arrives…. Paula has no metas 🎉🎉🎉🎉 I cannot stop crying… whooohooooo!

Stardom is hard business 😂😂😂

I have a super nice day with a tour around the Avène production site – which was shut down, but we will probably see it live in action tomorrow! Then therapy and lunch and another therapy session for the interview and photos…. I really enjoyed it, now I rest and look forward to yet another nice dinner…. now that’s the life 😉

It is quite funny, when you think that the photos should all be about wellbeing, therapy and beauty and you actually look like Hannibal Lector, but so am sure Matthias Fuchs will turn it into something nice…. or I rather hope so 😂

To be honest, I am really grateful for the distraction and it is fun!

Got stuck with a TV series yesterday….. but I needed it along with a glass of red wine and today I feel much better today …. there is a hint of a cold left and I listen to my body and take it easy!

Today is ME day – I have a lay in, a relaxed breakfast and not only is the breakfast great, they try for local and regional supplies. The lady, who delivers the fruit and home made jams and spreads, lives up the hill in a little village and the juices are produced locally. It feels right….

The bar is empty now and I play or rather practice on the grand piano….“Halleluja“, but there is no religious thought behind it – it is the Cohen version…. I like Leonard Cohen, but the reason is really that it is one of the easy playing songs and a nice alternative to „Pour Elise“….

For me, it means so much more though…. meditation, happiness, tranquility…. I had this longing to play for a long time and used my first maternity leave for piano lessons. Now I think I need to get my old piano to Cologne and I want to paint it in a bright colour – never mind the neighbours….I always wanted that….the firsts guests enter the bar and I finally go outside.

With all the rain of the last weeks, being locked in the hotel, felt a bit like being at sea – the narrow wooden terrace resembling the deck, the shape of the hotel is sleek and round, light and spacious with large windows. It did not feel that we were stuck in there, but it brought us together and I really enjoyed the intensive moments with my kids – without distraction.

It is a beautiful sunny autumn day. Instead of running, I just sit by the river…. listening to the river rippling, while the sun kisses my face and a light breeze sweeps through the golden foliage…. peace, light, calm – I meditate and indulge in the moment…. and this afternoon, I will draw – I brought some water colours – …. maybe….. Let’s see how it flows – have an happy Sunday 🙏

Oups….. Gaby Wurth, Marketing & Communication Director at Pierre Fabre and the journalist Matthias Fuchs just arrived – off we go to shoot some material and spend a lovely afternoon in the now beautifully sunny Avène and it’s scenic surroundings presented in the most beautiful fall foilage 😉

Check out Serena William’s Video for #breastcancerawareness…. not only does it fit my mood, but it ties in quite nicely with the German campaign #brustbewusst – #chestconscious – by Pink Ribbon Germany and Regina Halmich.

Check out Pink Ribbon Germany – who raise awareness for breastcancer, self-awareness and self-care! Check yourself and speak about it!