What a tough day it was yesterday … emotionally – I need a while to digest it and I have a restless night.

The Avène post cancer treatment also caters to the emotional side effects of the therapy and after the Art Therapy last week, I am attending two group sessions with the psychologist – the discussion café and the photolangage session.

The discussion café is a round table with other patients, where each tells her story…. mainly breast cancer stories and mainly positive and strong stories of descending out of the cancer fiercely, but also broken, there are tears and sadness, when the sacrifices are being discussed, the weight that lays on the children, the loneliness, people, who leave us, the fatigue, the emotional rollercoaster rides …. we all cry, but feel empowered by the strength and positivity and the last lady to tell her stories, faces us again with the horrors and the unfairness of cancer.

She is sixty and has a rare blood condition and head and back pain proved to be metastasis …. all over her body with no possibility of treatment, as chemo and radiotherapy are not possible due to her blood condition and no doctor wants to take the risk. She is strong, emotional and positive and it scares me once again, as I look into the ugly face of cancer…. I hate you!

Straight away, we enter into the photolangage, but I am the only person who stays. Three new patients arrive, one, who I know from Art Therapy and there are plenty of photos layed out on the table in front of us. We have to choose four pictures each that we feel drawn to…and after the second women tells her story, we all cry….I am more emotional since having had my diagnosis and it is enough for me for the day. The last woman does not even manage to tell her story and we all leave drenched and very emotional. Yes, it helps, I am sure, but it is a process to face your emotions and for me, I have to think about it all night.

On a brighter note – the sun is out….. I start the morning tired, but positive and close my eyes as the sun rays touch my face. The valley shimmers in the brightest colours and we are eager to go outside, walk around, maybe play minigolf and just enjoy our time together until my Pilates class.

Having the kids here, does not leave me any time to myself outside the therapy and classes, but I am happy to spend quality time with them and the last week I will be all by myself and I look forward to that too.

Check out Stella McCartney’s breast cancer awareness campaign – it fits in well with the amazing women I met yesterday….

Take the day off for a good cause!

Clinique launched a social media champaign to support breast cancer research!

It is really easy:

– take off your make-up

– post a picture or a video on YouTube or Instagram

– mark it with #takethedayoffchallenge and #TimeToEndBreastCancer

Clinique will donate 10€ for each post to Breast Cancer Research! Every post counts!

Now, that is an easy way to support breast cancer research, isn’t it?!? Let’s raise awareness and support research to find a cure!

What a wonderful break – one day in Carcassonne – one day without rain – one day of happy sunshine – one day of culture, people, little shops, busy streets and lots of history….. and my kids are so happy, glowing, bright-eyed and smiling….

And despite the fact that I am not a fan of children’s arms, I get Leo a full knight outfit – well, his granny did in fact…. what the heck – he is so happy and it is all the soft foam and we are sorted for next carnival. Do I spoil my kids?!? Yes! And I do it intentionally and from the bottom of my heart. You cannot make up for missed time, for the times they only play a second role, for days spend at home instead on the playground, as Mummy is too weak to go out…. we explore the castle, buy candy and ice cream and two happy, tired and very stick kids travel back with me to Avène!

„Gosh, there is so much I have to tell my friends in Kindergarten – I might have to bring my knight outfit for toy day, I guess!“ Laying in bed next to an excited Leo raving about knights and kings, adventures and heroism, makes my heart melt and despite being exhausted, it was energy well invested and I want the memories to last…

Today we stay here, watching the storm blast around hotel with heavy rain and Leo, Mia and their new friends are knights and protect the hotel lobby and the guests…I will go swimming with them now to present clean and happy kids at the cocktail reception tonight (Mia still has a whiff vomit odour from the car ride, which was a first and I was completely unprepared, but it did not spoil our day)!

Thank you, Avène, for organizing this trip – it was amazing!

Today I will one more time, draw your attention to the Look Good Feel Better patient programmes. It is run all over the world and it is something that not only helps the women feel better about themselves with make-up and tips and tricks how to draw eyebrows, of none of yours are left, no, it also gives a chance for an exchange with fellow patients and leaves them glowing inside and out.

There is cancer, but the seminars do not leave much room for it and focus on the women and their feelings. Thank you, DKMS LIFE, who run these seminars in Germany and do so much more to raise awareness! It is an heartfelt desire to support this charity that lives purely on donations and sponsors!

If you are a patient, go and join a seminar, they are free and run in most cities. Check out their website! And if you are not a patient and want to donate, you can also check out the website 😉

Apparently the thermal water makes your hair grow rapidly?!?! I had a haircut ten days ago…. but good to know I am not alone and get my hair trimmed during Leo’s hairdresser visit 😉

Little weather update – it is raining a bit less now and tomorrow we go to Carcassonne and it should be dry…. most of the day!

Today I get a little time out… not that the treatment isn’t one, but the water makes me tired and it is day six of me getting up before the kids and Mum and we all go to bed together at night… this morning she takes them to the park though, as the weather clears a bit and I linger in the bar overlooking the golden October foliage …. I drink tea, let my thoughts flow and float and actually continue writing my book. Pure bliss!!

And now we are off to the pool!

Treatment news – Dr. Petite will change the body wrapping to something else…. watch this space 😉.

Food plays quite an important role in my cure life….If I continue to eat at this pace, there will be more than my extra 10 kilos…. but the cuisine of the Avène l’Hotel is to die for…. and we are on full board…. I could get used to this, Avène ❤️

Body wrapping – yeah – after a dreadful night with restless episodes (funnily enough I would have expected heavenly sleep after all the respiration, relaxation and meditation) I am yawning and ready to be wrapped head to toe.

There is a comfortable bed waiting for me, Sandra put the cream on my back…. plenty, I slide onto the plastic lining, which covers the sheets, cream is put on the rest of my body, I am being wrapped in more plastic and wrapped into a duvet with an emergency button in reach. Sandra takes some pictures and 45 minutes of resting lay ahead of me, but already after one minute it starts to itch….. hmmmm…. maybe the sheet underneath my body is wrinkled?!? I try to adjust it, scratch and turn myself…. only 10 minutes have past and I try to get comfortable…. more itching and turning and after 30 minutes, there are sheets and blankets all over the feet and my body is no longer fully covered. I ring the bell….

A nurse arrives and is shocked to see the mess and says we stop it here and now. As I climb out of the cream, sheet and plastic foil mess, I see that my skin is actually bright red and I cannot stop itching…. plastic reaction I guess! I am glad to have escaped 😉 and I Wonder if there are alternatives for next week, but I am sure that there is a solution!

Now it is family time for the rest of the day with hair dressers and swimming! …. and somehow I need to get some rest 🤷‍♀️

Have you ever been in an old countryside home? Those one that blend in with the countryside, made of rough stones?

Well, there is a certain smell, when you enter them, a mixture of wood, dust and chimney wood fires.

Les Mûriers – the building where a lot of the afternoon classes are held, has this smell…. the building does not look that old, as it was probably renovated, but under the beautiful shell, there is the rough smell…. and it takes me back to 1994, when I was a babysitter and assistant to a family in Paris, who sold restored old farm houses near Dijon to Germans…. smelling this house, let’s me see Monsieur in front of the fireplace checking the Latin vocabulary of a very scared Xavier Alexandre or was that the younger brother? I see misty fields and horse stables and feel the cold winter draught sneak through the gaps in the walls, the smell of coffee and the taste of the fresh bread dipped into it.

Yesterday’s pilates started this trip down memory lane and during the breathing class today, I continue…. while I learn that nobody need shoulders for breathing – what an eye opener 😉…. I am extremely tired though, as our little excursion to Avène with two strollers this morning was rather tiring, but I am so happy that Elise from the thermal center organized them.

One hour of respiration is followed by 90 minutes of relaxation & meditation. I am so tired, but thanks to the lady from Alsace, who snores for the major part of the relaxation, I am in the here and now. Others get really annoyed and storm out of the class with the result that only half the class stays for the meditation – the lady from Alsace leaves with them and I feel sorry for her. If it annoys them so much, why not go over to her and wake her…. she probably would have equally appreciated it. If anyone ever does a class with me and I snore, can you please have mercy and wake me?!?!

The meditation really relaxes and calms me and reminds me that I need to find my rhythm again to meditate on a regular basis. While I was the youngest, yesterday, it is quite a mixed group today and we all part happy and tranquil. It is 5pm and I hope I will stay awake until dinner, but all the water and fresh air paired with cancer fatigue really exhausts me – apparently people are more awake in week two and three öfter treatment though…. fingers crossed!

My scalp is a bit itchy probably due to all the scalp massaging and I realize that I put cream all over my body after thermal therapy, but nothing on my scalp….. hmm…. I will ask tomorrow!

For those who asked – here are the prices and it is definitely worthwhile to check with you insurance company for coverage 😉

I am quite impressed with the amount of English speakers, who listen to my German Insta stories – therefore there is now an English story…. I use little flags to mark the language in order to make skipping easier 😉

It is raining cats and dogs and we still have not been to downtown Avène – let’s see what the afternoon brings. I have a sports class, but the rest of the day is family time…. I might take Leo to the hairdresser – he hardly can see anything ….

I am really being treated like royalty – they organized a trip for us on Sunday to Carcassone and they will organise a buggy for the kids, just to be on the safe side and a picnic lunch…. yeah, the French love their picnics 🤗

In the early morning hours I sneak out of the room as Mum and the kids are still sleeping…. What a wonderful start into my day 🤗

My shirt fits in quite nicely, as #gibachtaufdich – the #lookafteryourself campaign initiated by the German mammography screening programme is not only meant to bring attention to the prevention or rather early detection of breast cancer for patient ages 50+, but to listen to your body and look after it at any age. Breast cancer can happen to anyone at any time. Check yourself and treat yourself with love and self respect. That’s what I am doing here…. yeah! I am pampering myself inside and out….

After the early thermal treatments, I have time to spend with my kids and this afternoon it’s art therapy for cancer patients. There is a welcome reception held by the Avène tourist board in the village …. we will try to attend, maybe 😉

I love this place…. in France the health insurance pays for the therapy and apparently the long time effects are amazing. „This is not Lourdes“ is Martine’s answer to the benefits…. „there is no magic healing, but you will notice the benefits, when you are at home.“

Wrong – I am all relaxed already and excited to start therapy today!

The hotel is amazing – the attention to detail and the special features to accommodate patients with skin irritations, eczema or neurodermatitis – avoiding carpets and curtains in the rooms, having an air cleaning system instead of an air conditioning, keeping it all natural and plain and the kitchen can cater to any needs.

I see Doctor Petite, who examines my scars, my skin and my medical history….I shall evaluate my skin dryness, itchiness, pain, etc. on a scale from 1-10…. I think I am a four, but as she examines my skin, I just a hear a „10“, when it come to dryness – now it is not really a surprise, as it is a common side effect of chemo therapy and my chemo pills attach my hands and feet….

I get a prescription for baths, massages and wraps and the clinic arranges a schedule accordingly. Martine and Elise have lunch with Lindsay, her Mum and us and take our hand to guide us through treatment. They reserve the Monday afternoons to new arrivals and show them the tricks, so we are ready to face the busy treatment mornings and know where to go.

The therapy plan focuses on hydro therapy and any of the physical therapies in the morning, while I participate in the chemo patients programme in the afternoon including art therapy, sports, nutrician seminars, meditation, relaxation, discussion rounds and visualization …. I will be a busy bee, but happy!

I get a bag with slippers, towels and a bathrobe and an empty bottle, which I have to fill at one of the thermal fountains and drink at least 1,5l thermal water every day, I get a lot of creams, thermal sprays and shower oil as prescribed my Dr. Petite 🤗 and we go …. 20 minutes bath with jets, 20 minutes water massage – the massage bench had shower heads above it and I am being massaged while warm water runs all over my body. Then it’s shower time – the shower cubicle looks scary with a lot of pipes and jets and scars me, but once it starts, I cannot stop laughing…. it is sooo tickly…. this lasts for 5 minutes and then I am in a thermal mist for 5 minutes.

The next 5 minutes my head is in a maschine, which massages my scalp with water jets and I almost fall asleep…. I will a bit exhausted, but very clean, relaxed and I will probably grow webs after three weeks 😉

It is amazing – I am overwhelmed and we will all go to bed after dinner…. I have to be in the clinic 7:40 tomorrow morning 😴😴😴 Guess I will have a quick and quiet breakfast!

All the personal care and attention, the treatment, the area…. I am living the moment and am the luckiest girl in the world to be here!