Have you ever been in an old countryside home? Those one that blend in with the countryside, made of rough stones?

Well, there is a certain smell, when you enter them, a mixture of wood, dust and chimney wood fires.

Les Mûriers – the building where a lot of the afternoon classes are held, has this smell…. the building does not look that old, as it was probably renovated, but under the beautiful shell, there is the rough smell…. and it takes me back to 1994, when I was a babysitter and assistant to a family in Paris, who sold restored old farm houses near Dijon to Germans…. smelling this house, let’s me see Monsieur in front of the fireplace checking the Latin vocabulary of a very scared Xavier Alexandre or was that the younger brother? I see misty fields and horse stables and feel the cold winter draught sneak through the gaps in the walls, the smell of coffee and the taste of the fresh bread dipped into it.

Yesterday’s pilates started this trip down memory lane and during the breathing class today, I continue…. while I learn that nobody need shoulders for breathing – what an eye opener 😉…. I am extremely tired though, as our little excursion to Avène with two strollers this morning was rather tiring, but I am so happy that Elise from the thermal center organized them.

One hour of respiration is followed by 90 minutes of relaxation & meditation. I am so tired, but thanks to the lady from Alsace, who snores for the major part of the relaxation, I am in the here and now. Others get really annoyed and storm out of the class with the result that only half the class stays for the meditation – the lady from Alsace leaves with them and I feel sorry for her. If it annoys them so much, why not go over to her and wake her…. she probably would have equally appreciated it. If anyone ever does a class with me and I snore, can you please have mercy and wake me?!?!

The meditation really relaxes and calms me and reminds me that I need to find my rhythm again to meditate on a regular basis. While I was the youngest, yesterday, it is quite a mixed group today and we all part happy and tranquil. It is 5pm and I hope I will stay awake until dinner, but all the water and fresh air paired with cancer fatigue really exhausts me – apparently people are more awake in week two and three öfter treatment though…. fingers crossed!

My scalp is a bit itchy probably due to all the scalp massaging and I realize that I put cream all over my body after thermal therapy, but nothing on my scalp….. hmm…. I will ask tomorrow!

For those who asked – here are the prices and it is definitely worthwhile to check with you insurance company for coverage 😉

I am quite impressed with the amount of English speakers, who listen to my German Insta stories – therefore there is now an English story…. I use little flags to mark the language in order to make skipping easier 😉

It is raining cats and dogs and we still have not been to downtown Avène – let’s see what the afternoon brings. I have a sports class, but the rest of the day is family time…. I might take Leo to the hairdresser – he hardly can see anything ….

I am really being treated like royalty – they organized a trip for us on Sunday to Carcassone and they will organise a buggy for the kids, just to be on the safe side and a picnic lunch…. yeah, the French love their picnics 🤗

In the early morning hours I sneak out of the room as Mum and the kids are still sleeping…. What a wonderful start into my day 🤗

My shirt fits in quite nicely, as #gibachtaufdich – the #lookafteryourself campaign initiated by the German mammography screening programme is not only meant to bring attention to the prevention or rather early detection of breast cancer for patient ages 50+, but to listen to your body and look after it at any age. Breast cancer can happen to anyone at any time. Check yourself and treat yourself with love and self respect. That’s what I am doing here…. yeah! I am pampering myself inside and out….

After the early thermal treatments, I have time to spend with my kids and this afternoon it’s art therapy for cancer patients. There is a welcome reception held by the Avène tourist board in the village …. we will try to attend, maybe 😉

I love this place…. in France the health insurance pays for the therapy and apparently the long time effects are amazing. „This is not Lourdes“ is Martine’s answer to the benefits…. „there is no magic healing, but you will notice the benefits, when you are at home.“

Wrong – I am all relaxed already and excited to start therapy today!

The hotel is amazing – the attention to detail and the special features to accommodate patients with skin irritations, eczema or neurodermatitis – avoiding carpets and curtains in the rooms, having an air cleaning system instead of an air conditioning, keeping it all natural and plain and the kitchen can cater to any needs.

I see Doctor Petite, who examines my scars, my skin and my medical history….I shall evaluate my skin dryness, itchiness, pain, etc. on a scale from 1-10…. I think I am a four, but as she examines my skin, I just a hear a „10“, when it come to dryness – now it is not really a surprise, as it is a common side effect of chemo therapy and my chemo pills attach my hands and feet….

I get a prescription for baths, massages and wraps and the clinic arranges a schedule accordingly. Martine and Elise have lunch with Lindsay, her Mum and us and take our hand to guide us through treatment. They reserve the Monday afternoons to new arrivals and show them the tricks, so we are ready to face the busy treatment mornings and know where to go.

The therapy plan focuses on hydro therapy and any of the physical therapies in the morning, while I participate in the chemo patients programme in the afternoon including art therapy, sports, nutrician seminars, meditation, relaxation, discussion rounds and visualization …. I will be a busy bee, but happy!

I get a bag with slippers, towels and a bathrobe and an empty bottle, which I have to fill at one of the thermal fountains and drink at least 1,5l thermal water every day, I get a lot of creams, thermal sprays and shower oil as prescribed my Dr. Petite 🤗 and we go …. 20 minutes bath with jets, 20 minutes water massage – the massage bench had shower heads above it and I am being massaged while warm water runs all over my body. Then it’s shower time – the shower cubicle looks scary with a lot of pipes and jets and scars me, but once it starts, I cannot stop laughing…. it is sooo tickly…. this lasts for 5 minutes and then I am in a thermal mist for 5 minutes.

The next 5 minutes my head is in a maschine, which massages my scalp with water jets and I almost fall asleep…. I will a bit exhausted, but very clean, relaxed and I will probably grow webs after three weeks 😉

It is amazing – I am overwhelmed and we will all go to bed after dinner…. I have to be in the clinic 7:40 tomorrow morning 😴😴😴 Guess I will have a quick and quiet breakfast!

All the personal care and attention, the treatment, the area…. I am living the moment and am the luckiest girl in the world to be here!

It was a hassle to get ready, I could not sleep all night, but now it feels like a dream…. my kids are the best travelers and despited the promised rental buggies at Charles de Gaulle airport, which were missing along with any assistance, we smoothly change terminals and I am happy when Martine from Avéne finally greets us at Montpellier airport.

The sun is shining and I am in relaxation mood. As the transfer travels trough the coastal backlands from Montpellier to Avéne, I have flashbacks from working here with the yachts…. the happiness, the airport runs, shopping tours, shipyards and weekends in a lonely shattered chateau surrounded by large trees and small villages and home to 100 cats (not as romantic as you’d think, when your boyfriend has a cat allergy 😉), skiing in the Alpes de Haute Provence or just staying on the seaside, running the Calanques National park (or rather climbing it – uphill running … wow, I was fit), landing with Seabourn in Pocquerolles only to notice that the season had finished and everything was closed…. I was living the dream, but I don’t think back with regret, I relive the happiness …. there and then.

The streets get narrower and we pass through picturesque little villages, see villagers with their baguettes, alleys lined with platanus trees and the autumn is slowly coloring the area. The more we climb, the denser the forest and the deeper the green… we share the ride with Lindsey and her mum from Kuala Lumpur and my kids sleep, so I can fully indulge in the beautiful landscape 😍

The Avène l’hôtel is a dream – build in 2016 it blends in quite well despite a modern architecture, as there is a sleek style and a lot of wood and there are real trees in the lobby. I love it already and on top of it, there are tons of Avène products in the room 😍😍😍. The staff is wonderful, personal and they go out of their way to make us feel welcome – the kids even get little Avène teddy bears and Martine is joining us for dinner.

Is this really happening?!?! If it is a dream, please don’t let me wake up 🤗 – cannot wait for dinner. We are on full board and the restaurant and bar area look promising. The Avène thermal center is connected to the hotel and I cannot wait for the therapy to start tomorrow, but first I see the doctor at the Avène thermal clinic to get examined and receive all the details of my therapy! Pure bliss – thank you DKMS LIFE for connecting me with Avène and thank you Avène for spoiling me ❤️

Fun fact – Leo packed his doctor’s kit in case of an emergency and Mia examined me twice already – I am well taken care off 😉

I wish I could say that I am all packed for our flights tomorrow, but procrastination is my area of expertise 😉

Leo has packed though…. he obviously has more of Markus‘ genes 😂

It’s a beautiful day outside – 26 degrees – but I have no energy to go outside….. and I should pack after all …. now, I will send my parents, Markus and the kids away and PACK…. really! Now!

And then, this is what I do all day…. drink coffee and chill and procrastinate packing 🤦‍♀️ story of my life!

When I was an air hostess, I would have everything double, so I would never unpack my suitcase and just replace dirty uniforms with fresh ones, dirty clothes with clean ones and I would be done….. and that was a hassle already…. I don’t like it when people talk about doing thing instead of just doing them, but when it comes to packing…. guilty!

Enjoy the weather and the weekend – I will pack now and finally enjoy some time with my kids today – thanks for the pictures, Michael!

One year ago, I celebrated my 44th birthday with my closest friends in Mercato Deluxe – one of my favorite places in Cologne – not knowing what layed ahead of me….but I wanted to have a nice evening with some of the people I cared about most and live the moment!

When Christina shaved my head October 1st, days after my second EC chemo, we left a few millimeters, as my chemo buddy Katja said that she got spots, as she shaved it all off and my brother, who also sports a bald head, recommended not to give it a wet shave …. the stubbles were in patches though and for two days I wore a beanie, as it looked really sick.

The morning of October 4th 2017, I took the clippers and said good bye to the last bit of hair. It was uplifting and I liked it actually, but wasn’t 100% secure to go outside all bald. As I arrived in the restaurant, I got the typical hot flushes and took my beanie off…. and by the end of a wonderful evening, it felt normal to be bald – „I cannot even remember what you looked like before. It feels so normal!“ my cousin wondered as we said good bye.

And today, I am starting chemo cycle 6/8…. and I will see my onchologist because of my stinking cold and coughing – I need to be fit for Avène…. and I will probably cancel my coffee & cake guests (I purposely did not plan an evening out, as my new bed time goes in line with the kids‘ sleeping patterns) – but I will also dress up for the occasion, enjoy my day and have champagne!

One more thing – I did not read any cancer books, I just did not want to…. and it took me ages to listen to the „You, Me and the big C“ podcast – actually I only listened properly after Rachael died and Emma encouraged me!

Today though, Deborah’s book „F*** you, Cancer!“ is out and I downloaded the audio book! Check it out – I did not start it yet, but I know it will be amazing, because this woman is amazing…. she manages her life with stage IV bowel cancer, is funny, witty and goes by the name of Bowelbabe …. I think that tells you all …. next on the list is Emma’s book „All that followed!“, but there is no audio version … yet… and I am determined now to continue writing my book! Watch this space…. but bring plenty of time 😉

Pink is not really my colour, no, not at all, actually…. but for the good cause, I go pink!

In a way it is crazy that October goes wild with breastcancer awareness, when cancer is around every day…. but I jump on the bandwagon – we cannot scream loud enough to raise awareness, break the tabu around cancer and make sure people look after themselves…. pinktober it is!

Today I want to point to Melou and their wish bracelets – €4 of each pink bracelet (they cost €14,90 incl. VAT and shipping) is donated to the look good feel better cosmetic seminars run by DKMS LIFE in Germany. The programme helps women with cancer to embrace their feminity in the face of illness, thereby granting their wish for normalcy.… I got mine from DKMS LIFE and in this case, I love pink! … and the grey one is from the Blogger4Charity goodie bag, as they support this wonderful charity as well ❤️

It is 11:00 and Markus and the kids just left, so I can quietly pack for our trip to Avène…. I sit in bed and have to admit that I never really planned to pack. I had a Sauna date for today…. a bit of Wellness …. hmmm…. but I have a cold. No sauna for me…. I won’t give up! I still have a massage voucher from my chemo sisters and Simone and I will indulge in Thai heavens and go to Shibuya Sushi for lunch…. pure bliss …. and I want to quickly visit their building site. They bought a house and I love interior design and cannot wait to see the progress…. procrastinate packing?!? Moi?!? You did not really think I would pack four days in advance?!?! Four days?!? Who are you kidding….Not really 😉

After a night of cold and fever, Mia and I feel better, but she has to stay at home and it throws all my plans overboard! Thank goodness, Markus can take some time off and work from home in the afternoon, as I have doctors appointments and I am meeting a journalist, who will document my time in Avène.

Matthias Fuchs visits me and makes me feel at ease and we talk about my life since my diagnosis…. it makes me sentimental, emotional and proud – what a year it has been. I look forward to working with him in Avène….. and talking of which – I need to start packing 😉