That is what it’s like to be back at work?!? I don’t have a feeling yet, as all my technical equipment is not working yet, but I look forward to slowly move back into working mode!

Being with my colleagues feels like I have not been away and the reception was wonderful!

Today I am supposed to see my psychologist before going to the office, but I already get confused and go to work…. well, I am already extremely tired not having really started yet, but I am glad it is only two hours 😉

#feelitonthefirst

Today is my first day back in the office – how exciting!! But most importantly – it is the first of the month and time to check your boobs!

At the Blogger4Charity round table, we all said it again! There is no early detection programm in place for young people! It is in your hands and you know your body best! Five minutes can save your life!

I paused my working life for 18 month due to breast cancer, but because I found the lump, it was ‚only‘ 18 month and I am still here!

Tomorrow marks the big day! Back to work after three years!!

How did I use my last weeks? I sorted, cleaned, try to tick off my to do list, which had been sitting there forever in the aim to have a clean start…. time is always too short though! It is the same with any project, dissertation, presentation…. I have mastered the art of procrastination over the years…. anything I do, I do it last minute – and then I am highly concentrated and efficient, totally focused, but in a way I always wish I had more time left 😉

I look forward to seeing my colleagues and I have respect, when I think about juggling working life, therapy life, kids and household tasks… but I look back and I see all that I have achieved during the past three years!

I had a lot of struggles, but overall, I gained so much – mainly friends! This is to my bosom buddies and all the friends and connections I made in the cancer community and outside – my life has been enriched with all of you – virtually or not! Thank you for being there!

#zusammenalt #zusammen #busenfreundinnen #together #bosombuddies #nomorewordsneeded

The first Blogger4charity round table calls and we are all there. Jenny collects me with her little car and Rossmann provides the location, equipment, catering, etc….

Like any event, initiative or action taken by Blogger4Charity, the message is awareness and education! My bosombuddy Paula gives a talk about self care, Mamazone provides breast models with and without tumors to give the subject a ‚feel‘, the Mammo Mädels speak about diagnosis and Julia sings!

We are not getting tired to speak about breast cancer, give it a face and a voice in order to raise awareness and people like Natalie and her #Blogger4charitycrew do it in a wonderful, personal way with a lot of attention to detail! Kudos! #nevertooyoung

At the end, Samantha, 26, talks about her metastatic breastcancer and how she prepares herself for a possible fatal end (not that it is anywhere in the near future) and shows so much serenity, that we all listen in awe with the utmost respect ❤️ I am speechless…. and that does not happen very often! We all stay strong together and have her back!

Sports is key for beating cancer fatigue and getting back into a ’normal‘ life.

There is a certain form called rehab sport and the pension fund pays for it for six months…. already the name makes me shiver, but I agreed to see them after my running mamas round at LaufMamaLauf for an informative talk.

The place looks grim and all I see are machines and old people! I generally do not like machines, but sink into a chair to listen to the bearded gentlemen, who slightly reminds me of my gym teacher and I search for the missing whistle around his neck. He might sense my aversion towards the place and says that they do rehab sport is in a separate class room on mats and other than the area with all the machines, there are windows and the group only has 12 members. I slowly get used to the idea, but strictly decline an additional membership for unlimited use of the other classes and all the machines…. not my cup of tea – sorry 😉

The course is tailored to orthopedic rehab patients, which I think is actually a benefit, as I have a pre examination with them, where they document my physical fitness & overall constraints and the training then targets the problem areas, which a lot of rehab sport classes apparently cannot do!

The class is early Thursday morning and I will try to fit it in with the rest of my family, working and therapy life 😉

Back into working life!!

I am a busy bee, as I try to finish off what I started before returning to work. This involves cleaning, tidying, sorting out paperwork, working on my blog and preparing my book & other ideas…. the whole lot! I want to have a clear and fresh mind, when I am marching back into my ‚old‘ professional life!

April 1st marks the day I am returning to working life after three years of ‚leave‘ – half of it due to maternity leave and half of it due to cancer! Three years is a long time, but I am glad there is a slow ‚getting used to it‘! I am slowly getting used to working!

My boss and company, HRG, are extremely cooperative here. They give me a ‚buddy‘ (one of my favourite colleagues actually) let me run through the different departments like a new employee and I love the approach. I will start a bit in the background and slowly move to front row at my own pace.

As far as my therapies are concerned (I still need to have weekly lymph drainage and regularly see my psycho therapist along with all the medical check ups I have and the rehab sport I was perscribed), they are flexible and we will build my work schedule around it!

Now, I am mentally ready to go step by step back into working life and the next steps will be finding my new normal in the working world, seeing how I handle every day life with work, kids and household tasks, while trying to maintain the sport routines and therapies….the next big step workwise will be the transition from HRG to American Express GBT, who took over globally, but that is the next but one step 😉

My plan:

Week 1 & 2 – 2 hours a day

Weeks 3 – 3 hours a day

Week 4 & 5 – 4 hours a day

Week 6 – 5 hours a day

Then back to 6,2 hours a day!

Two hours seem ridiculous to some, but I shall report what it feels like. I am literally going from a concentration span of minutes to two hours. Now that is a change in perspective, right?!? My brain is slow and foggy and sometimes I have difficulties finding the right words….watch this space – it might be interesting!

The plan for the reintegration was suggested by the social services in rehab and already sent to my employer, while I was still there. The maximum they can suggest are six weeks, but they said that I probably need longer and that my doctor can adjust the plan at any time, while the reintegration is still in progress. See a list of options below as to how it can work.

Now that it is this close and after discussing it with my boss, I actually look forward to going back!

Because there were a few questions already – here are the three reintegration modells (I am aware of) for your way back into working life after being ill for a while:

Reintegration Modell A

You are signed off sick. The 18 months of sick pay have not been completed and your doctor suggests a reintegration schedule. During rehab you receive your benefits from the pension fund, but afterwards you return to receiving sick benefits from your health insurance company. Your employer agrees and you start your reintegration, while still receiving sick benefits! This reintegration schedule is flexible and there is no fixed time frame, but anything up to six months is normal. The reintegration is ‚managed‘ by your doctor and your health insurance company.

Reintegration Modell B

You have been sick for longer than 18 months and no longer are entitled to sick pay from your health insurance. You have been to rehab and received payments from the pension fund. During rehab, the social service will suggest a reintegration plan and send it to your employer, who has to agree to it. If you start reintegration with four weeks after finishing rehab, the pension fund will continue to pay until you finish reintegration. The reintegration is ‚managed‘ by your doctor and the pension fund – the rules seem a bit stricter here.

Reintegration Model C

You are sick for more than 18 months, the pension fund pays during rehab, but you need to register with the unemployment office and ask for their benefits once you reach the 18 months and model B does not apply. The reintegration schedule is suggested by your doctor and ‚managed‘ by your doctor and the department for the chronically ill at the unemployment office.

Me? I am sporting model B 😉

The reason I have not seen any money from the pension fund is actually due to the fact that Markus work still had to sign a document concerning how much leave he took during my rehab time. Now that this is done, I really hope to get some cash!

This is to #friendship – I am chillaxing and reflecting! I have the best friends and even, if I see or speak to some of them only randomly, we always just continue where we stopped last time!

My circle of friends changed after my cancer diagnosis, but I am absolutely ok with people, who no longer play a role in my life, with some, who moved from leading part to extra, grateful for some friends I am closer with and some new friends, who moved into my life ❤️

Benni passed away this morning and I am glad that we arranged a breakfast with our cancer blogger buddies! The mood is a bit depressed, but it is soothing that we all have each other ❤️

I leave with a heavy heart, which is full of appreciation for our connection, the cancer community and it goes to Benni’s family! I have to put my shades on, as the sun is so bright!

In his last post, he says „The journey has always been the reward“ and that „life is beautiful“ – Benni showed determination, resilience and serenity until the end and I love his motto „more humour than tumour“! Benni, I squeeze my eyes, look into the sun and salute to you ❤️

I moan about my skin, which is breaking out everywhere and catapults me back into puberty. Is this a problem?!? Not really, as this is when I learn that fellow cancer blogger Benni from Cancelling Cancer posted his last post – he has probably only days left ….

Benni has been diagnosed with bowel cancer nine years ago aged 20 and has put a lot of work and effort into his blog, organizations and awareness with a lot of humour (I love his humour) and serenity! He is the head of the „Young adults with cancer“ group, our „Cancer blogger“ group and some others and brought us all together….thank you, Benni! Thank you for continuing to inspiring all of us ❤️

I have no words, but cannot stop thinking about you and your family!

„Giving up is not an option“ – that is what it says on the bracelet Kerstin from Sasasum sent me today…. What a perfect timing!

I learned today that a family friend – a young mother – got the diagnosis breastcancer and Natalie from Blogger4Charity is currently waiting for confirmation that the tumor in her breast is hopefully benign. This along with all the metastasis, reoccurrences and complications the cancer community is facing lately, makes me awfully sad.

On the other hand, I am proud of all these strong women and grateful to be part of this club, where nobody wants to be a member, but once you are, you meet the most amazing women! The bond, unity, strength and silent understanding are amazing and something I no longer want to miss! I think the limit is reached though and I am sad for any new member!

Cancer research has advanced tremendously and there are a lot of success stories, but the people who’s story is anything but success, could not care less about the little percentage their are part of…. statistics don’t help us really, as you never know which side of the statistic you are on!

Cancer – I hate you, you vicious creature! I will support breast cancer awareness and research as much as I can and hopefully we can soon refer to cancer as something that used to be scary, unpredictable and fatal – in the past tense! Like a wild creature, which has finally been tamed ❤️

Join me and others ‚club members‘ March 29 after 4:30pm for a breast cancer round table organized by Blogger4Charity in Hannover at Rossmann’s headquarter (Isernhägener Str. 16, 30938 Burgwedel) to learn about breast cancer, connect and exchange – no matter if you are already part of the club or will hopefully never be one!