I cannot wait for the kids to wake up, but the lack of sleep certainly hits me by 11:00 am…. never mind, I am so happy and we have snow 😍

As far as my hair is concerned, I trim it to 1mm and am now waiting for even density until I let it grow 😉, my eyebrows are growing a little bit and apart from three eyelashes, all others are gone and there is not even the faintest regrowth in sight 🙄

Four hours of sleep is not enough 😫, but hey…. I have yet a last peaceful breakfast by the pool and as Luh put it so nicely: „Bali is where the souls comes to heal. The air here is medicine for the soul!“

The flights home are easy and thanks to Barbara from Auckland, who let me use her phone, I can quickly call the kids from Singapore before jumping on my second leg.

I hope my doctor’s office issues my sick notice on the 1st, so I don’t face further cuts 😉, but the important message of the day – it is the second already…. did you check you boobs?!? Honestly, to this day I have never done it, but I will, as it was only by accident that I found that knot!

Home sweet home?!? Home freezing home would be more appropriate – it is snowing…. it has not been this cold for years and I am definately not dressed for the occasion, but cannot wait to go home and see my sleeping kids ❤️

Sound Medicine is a combination of different breathing techniques, mantra singing and listening to music. Leaving I am tired beyond belief and despite all efforts, cannot stay awake until the kids are home from Kindergarten…. but they have a bedtime story and a video waiting.

It is almost full moon, but I sleep like a baby until it is time to see David for an early morning Qi Gong, which is amazing. The Yoda Studio is a little straw hut right next to a pont with sea lillies and a little rice patch and the exercises are slow and smooth and calmly wake up my mind and body while the rolling of the river, which passes by is rounding up this wonderful experience.

I actually meet some more cancer survivors during my trip and it is interesting how everyone has a cancer story…. this one is Margarete’s – she had a double mastectomy and yet got breast cancer in the same spot ten years later, which I did not know was even possible!

To complete my healing journey, I am seeing a kinesiologist today, which makes it a somewhat busy morning, but worth the while. Theodora lives outside of Ubud in the middle of some rice fields and we talk a lot, sitting on her terrace while the humming birds fly in and out of the trees surrounding her little house. I have to lay on a bench and she presses my arm. The things she tells me are nice and interesting and guess what – I need to meditate more 🙄

Since I am leaving tomorrow, I want to do as much as I can: Yoga Massage, where I definitely enjoyed the receiving more than the giving, Sound Healing with Punnu, which is very relaxing, as we just listen to Punnu and his gang playing and singing and Restorative Yoga with Tina, which is a pure bliss with only about four asanas in 90 minutes and mindfulness guidance as we rest in the poses….

I skip Yin Yoga though, as I need to eat something and a quick swim ….. but I am happy!

Ubud is happy celebrating full moon and offerings are piled up outside our hotel and everyone is dressed up. The joy and pride are contagious and we hit the town for a final evening out. There is singing and laughing coming from the temples as we walk up the main road. I feel so familiar now with the people, the traffic and easily find my way around this little city, which I am so fond of.

It was the best decision to come here and I go back stronger and with many happy memories to help me through the next challenges ahead of me. Apart from looking forward to seeing my kids, I don’t want to leave, but will make sure to come back soon – apparently in June it is really quiet here and you get good deals 😉

It was a wonderful atmosphere last night with candles only in the upper studio, which is open to all sides letting the subtle noises of the jungle mingle with the singing of the Tibetan bowls. Peaceful and beautiful, but all these bowls ringing did not help me sleep well. Maybe the day was spiritually a bit overloaded 😉

Camilla and I make our promise though and meet Greg for Kundalini Yoga at 7:30 and it is beautiful …. swimming, breakfast with what has become my little gang, and today I finally go to the market – with Made on his moped, as it is too hot today. All of Ubud is preparing for Friday, when the royal cremation is taking place and there is the smell of intense everywhere with an atmosphere of equally calm and excitement.

Shamanic Breathwork is unspectacular today, but I cry when it is finished…. I actually might have dosed off in between 😉 let’s see how Sound Medicine will go tonight….🙏 if this all does not help my emotional turmoil I don’t know what will 😂, but somehow I hope that the chemo drugs are slowly leaving my body.

I have figured out what is happening on my head. It is the density of my hair on top of my head that is less than on the sides…. shall I shave it off again? Trim it until the density is the same the the sides? Maybe I always had less hair on top of my head?!? The combover is unfortunately no longer possible though 🤔

It is 8.00 am and we are at Vinyasa Slow with Murni during which I actually start crying and actually have to pause, as it is too much for me before breakfast, but I did at least a bit. Somehow my emotions start flowing out and somehow I hope that this is a sign of letting go the worries and troubles of the past months. After our morning routine with swimming and breakfast, Silke and I are parting. She is going to the airport to meet her husband in Bangkok and I am going to a Balian – one of the local healers/ helpers.

What an experience….I go this temple outside Ubud where the healer lives. Made is there to translate and after a lot of praying, an offering and talking, I have to lay on my back between Made and the healer. He puts holy water on different parts of my body, spits in between and presses his finger (or is it a stick?) deep into different points in my body. It hurts, but they hold me down and I have to breath deeply, while he keeps pressing. Afterwards we go outside and he rinses my head with holy water (thank god I have no hair) and I have to wash my face, chest and boobs with it. I cannot say that I feel different, but I guess it does not do any harm and there is a bit of crying again. I get a little meditation homework to take home and feel quite exhausted and have a very quick rest in my new room.

I miss Silke, but see Punnu for meditation, which is very unspectacular today, but I think my account for emotional experiences is simply full 😉 straight to Yin Yoga with Eka, which is amazingly calming, quick dinner at the Café and I am off to the Tibetan Bowl Meditation tonight 🙏

Hair update – there is fine fluff growing on my legs and arms…. and funnily also on my hands and throat 🙄

„Are you sisters?!?“ ….very single day – even the suggestion that we are twins comes up a few times…. I know Silke for 26 year and we were never ever considered sisters 😂 maybe soul sister?!?

I took my nail polish off my toes yesterday and what a sad picture it was…. they are white, yellow and black and I almost took them off all together when removing the nail polish, as they literally are hanging on one threat…. Despite the fact that I cannot wear flip flops with these nails, I repaint them and realize that the nail polish acts like glue! Finger crossed that it helps them to hang in there just a little bit longer until my new toe nails have grown fully underneath, please 🙏 I am grateful for my weirdly shaped fingernails though – at least they seem to stay in place and the bumps and colours are growing out quite nicely 😉

It is Silke’s last full day here and we take it easy – no 7:30 Kundalini Yoga with Greg! We swim and go to Yin Yoga with Levi and then plan to go to Crystal Bowls Meditation, but it is cancelled, as only the bowls are there, but nobody to replace Shervin…. Instead we have inspirational conversations at the Café – what a magic melting pot. The people come from all over the world and everyone is on a little journey and carries a little package! Everyone shares stories of broken hearts, traumas and tragedies and the positive that comes out of it. They are stories of people, who follow their hearts ❤️ My cancer story fits in quite nicely 😉😂

We let it all sink in while meditating with Punnu. It is a beautiful meditation today and I only shed a few tears and am happy and peaceful.

The metastasis on my head turned out to be a mosquito bite. I am not the type to panic, but these thoughts do arise whenever something feels weird and I am sure it will always be like this in the future, as the necessary caution is something that goes hand in hand with a little bit of fear.

Ubud has two sides to it …. there is the quiet street on one side of the Yoga Barn, where we used to live until yesterday, with the little temple like house entrances, which are typical for Bali, the smell of incence from the little offerings placed in front of every small shops, temple, restaurant and shrine gives it a magic feel, while school kids, vendors and local salesmen smile at you and spread this calm and yet cheerful vibe. The Ubud Aura Retreat Center, which is a savaged temple like little gem from a different world in the narrow alleyway that leads from the Yoga Barn to the Main Street, perfectly fits into this feel.

Entering the Main Street, a whole different world emerges with larger restaurants, massive hotels, bars, tourist services, supermarkets, 24h kiosks all squeezed next to each other – vibrant, flashy, busy and noisy and more of a tourist hot spot than our little peaceful heaven. Police jump on the street whistling and waving, stopping the traffic for us to cross. We decided to skip restorative yoga and hit the party mile for a Saturday night out, but it isn’t a big night and we rather stay in our little magic world off the main road 😉

„It’s really cold today!“ I look at Silke in awe…. and she adds „only 26 degrees!“ 😂 Sunday – a hazy day to rest and relax with swimming, breakfast and massage is on the agenda …. there is Pranayama with Greg at 9:15, but chilling on our mansion like balcony overlooking the pool beats Mr Charisma …. sorry – we will join you and Punnu tonight for Kirtan 🤗

I almost shaved my head again today, as the hair on top of my head it not keeping up with the growth on the sides and I am afraid I will have a chaplet, but I decided that I can always go for a combover, if the sides continue at this speed 😉

The Balinese people are simply amazing – we receive so much kindness, happiness and love, while they spread a feeling of calm and peacefulness! I love them!

After a change to the Ubud Aura resort – I am still in awe by the German efficiency we seem to have in us, being at the new hotel by 9am with swimming, packing and breakfast – we give Beginners Tai Chi with Dave a try (very interesting), followed by meditation with Greg with the calmest sonorous voice, I could have listened to forever…..it rains heavily during the entire meditation and it is the most beautiful atmosphere. We hang out in the cafe, make inspiring acquaintances, have vegan food and chill until restorative yoga with Carin….

I love my hairgrowth and am touching my head all day long…. by the end of the week I can probably braid it 🤗 Go and grow grow grow and why are my lashes and brows are not growing yet?!? Come on …. 😉

It is wonderful to live next to the Yoga Barn – no more being drenched while walking home and I can rest in between classes and don’t have to be all the time in the Yoga Barn Café 😉

From day to day I am regaining strength physically and mentally. When I left Germany I was too exhausted to even start arguing with my insurance company, but today is the last day to object to the cutting of all my benefits and I feel strong enough to write two letters. Whatever the outcome, I did not surrender without making my point!

Today, we try Gentle Yoga – very calming and relaxing – and afterwards sit in a corner of the Yoga Barn Café like Stadler & Waldorf watching people pass by, I speak to the kids and simply rest & relax before meditation with Punnu 🙏

As we leave there is a queue forming and ropes have been put in place. We wonder what it is for …. „Ecstatic Dance – it is really popular and people start queuing about three hours in advance, then get tickets an hour beforehand…. it is super popular!“ a skinny American girl informs us! „Excellent! Let’s go to the cafe – the WiFi will be much faster, if everyone is queuing“ is Silke’s conclusion and since I have a crown massage (head, neck & shoulder) lined up, this is what we do 😂

OMG – why did I not think about this earlier?!? Having a head massage without hair is the best ever …. and I think Ani, the masseuse, is equally happy to massage without hair, as I am to not face any pulling of my hair 😉 Additionally this Ayurvedic treatment with hibiscus flower paste, which stays for a while under a banana leave on my head, will probably support my hair growth tremendously 😀

There is very heavy rain, while I enjoy this heavenly treatment under a roof in the nature and I shortly wonder, if the ecstatic dancers are still queuing?!?

My insurance company is incredible…. now I received a letter that they are cutting my sick benefits 1st-6th February, because my sick notice for the period 1st-28th February was isses only on the 6th?!!? Thank you – funnily enough this was never an issue in the past 😉 I sent them an email objecting, but do I care?!?! Not a bit….

Spiritual healing continues… off we go to a temple for a cleansing ritual and our little group is amazing! There is Anya from Russia, who survived breast cancer when she was only 24 and actually praises the anti hormon therapy?!?!? Chris from New Jersey, who had testicular cancer 14 years ago amazes me. He is my age and was part of the 5% where the cancer treatment did not work, but finally beat it, became addicted to his post cancer drugs and ending up with an heroin addiction and being in jail for bank robbery. Despite the drugs being available in jail, he managed to quit them and started training his body. He has completely sorted out his life and even quit smoking and alcohol…. this guy is an inspiration and I hope that he will find the time to write a book!

We all go to see a Shaman afterwards and I really don’t know, if I had any intentions, but I leave with homework! I shall meditate more and she gives me two mantras for healing, while she praises my good intuition…. hmmm!

Well, I am such good girl that we go straight to the Yoga Barn for Sound Healing with Punnu, where I think I actually dosed off a little bit, but this was a long day already. It is raining again, but we are off for a swim and then go to the real world for dinner 🙏