How could I miss this – Saturday is Race for Survival in Cologne – it is a 5km run or a 2km walk for the cure of breastcancer! The online registration is closed! Just come along – that is what I will do!

I am not in a good mood – I am tired, I feel like I have a hangover and I just make it to radiation 27/28 (whooohooo!) on time, when the insurance company calls me. She is just checking something about my sick note and oh, yes, just out of interest, where am I standing treatment wise? Why do I always get the feeling that they are up to no good or want to catch me out?!? Mind your own business, I am busy with therapy …. anyway, back to business – radiation and tomorrow, I have my second and final appointment with Dr. Ricke in the radiation center 🎉

TGIF and what is happening next week? Lots of doctor appointments and the start of my new chemo! I will know all the details on Monday and I cannot wait – then I can plan some holiday!

The lack of sleep does not help and I rest at lunchtime being completely overwhelmed by the thought of doing any paperwork… physical activity of the day?!?! Simply the thought exhausts me already…. over and out!

To add to my foul mood, I notice that I gained weight…. brilliant – just what I need 🤦‍♀️

My physiotherapist Frau Dietrich let’s me do some weights today – not that I like doing weights…. I really don’t – not my cup of tea, but since it is 20 minutes and I ride my bike there, I have my 30 minutes for the #stepupfor30 challenge in the books!

I pick up Mia, get some groceries with her and have a nice afternoon with the kids. Now I need calm and quietness and my kids seem to understand ❤️

I am on the train home – what a wonderful trip! My batteries are recharged for all my doctor appointment ms next week and the next chemo! Bye bye Berlin – I will try to come back early July to see my former flatmate Aiden…

We have breakfast at Annette’s and I am in love with her flat…. old wooden floors with a beautiful 4,30m high stuccoed ceiling, but it is probably also Annette adding to the charm of this place spiked with lovely little details. We walk all over Kreuzberg, shop a little bit and decide to top our endless scroll with some proper exercise. Yeah!

My daily sports programme for Bowel Cancer UK’s #stepupfor30 challenge takes Maja and myself to the former airfield of the abandoned airport Tempelhof! What an amazing place, where we meet wind surfers, kite flyers, incline skaters and join in the fun for a thirty minute double Gokart spin….

We quickly grab a late lunch at Mustafa’s Gemüse Kebab, where you normally queue for an hour, relax in Cafe Eule at Gleisdreieck Park – a little peaceful oasis and say good bye to Denise, her daughter Liv and wonderful Berlin! We will be back ❤️

Maja and I take it easy and are strolling through Berlin.

Sport of the day for my #stepupfor30 challenge is a brisk walk along Landwehrkanal spiked with some exercises 😉 and we do everything by foot today! A for effort! £192,56 whooohoooo!!

We are meeting Maja’s friend Annette for Vietnamese lunch, Swenja (who I last saw in Acapulco about 16 years ago) for coffee and float through the day, meet Denise, who we are staying with, for dinner & cabarett – Ulan & Bator. Sebastian – is he Ulan our Bator?!?? whatever – used to be Maja’s neighbour in Cologne, but we go to see them in Berlin….. excellent show though, even if I can hardly sit at the end anymore, but I am laughing my head off!

What happened to radiation?!? Well, I get two days off, as they need to do four this week and since I had a double session on Monday, my next appointment is on Thursday. Whooohooo!

🎵🎶 Berlin – Du bist so wunderbar – Berlin …. lalala 🎵🎶

Tonight Maja and I are boarding the train to Berlin, but beforehand I have to drop off the kids in Kindergarten, run a few erands, pack, clean up the flat, do my #stepupfor30 challenge in between radiation treatment 25/28 and 26/28….yeah! And pack…. you know me mastering my procrastination skills…. therefore I am doing my blog now and will once again manage to throw everything in my suitcase within five minutes 😉

I am happy to break away from my radiation routine and my Mum will be here with the kids! Somehow I have suddenly another three trips to Berlin lined up each month now, as I try to be there again beginning of July, mid August and mid September – I love it! I just have to work my chemo schedule around them and build in a little holiday with the kids, but I see my oncologist next week and can do the fine tuning with him….

It is only day 4 of my #stepupfor30 challenge and I wonder what I can do for the rest of the 30 days! For today I am finding a shady spot in the garden for some relaxing Yin Yoga ….. any suggestions for the other 26 days?!? I have a few sport dates lined up already, so come and join me!

I just figured out today that I can see who donated – I am speechless!! This is so much appreciated!! Thank you ❤️ Love you guys!

Good Housekeeping at it’s best! Why?!? If only I would know…. we start with an easy Sunday and around lunchtime Markus takes the kids to the zoo – I want to join them, but first want to cook my second lot of strawberry rhubarb jam, watch the Blogger4Charity film from our last event on You Tube and install our automated watering system on the terrace and the balcony, which takes longer than expected and they already back before I even had a shower…. hmmmm…. why do I do these stupid things instead of spending time with my kids?!?!!

The film stays in my mind – Blogger4Charity is what I support, it is also my message to check yourself and insist to get properly checked by your doctor, if you feel something is wrong! Together we can make a difference – this is something worthwhile supporting, no matter if you are a patient or healthy! Thank you Natalie for connecting us, for all your hard work & love you put into this and I hope I can be at the next event in Berlin (18 August 2018) ❤️

Running has a very special place in my life, as it was my way into being regularly physically active despite working the seven seas…. I managed to run three marathons after starting land life and really enjoyed it. It was my kind of meditation, my way to switch off and since Markus and I had a long distance relationship for years, we would always go for a run Friday evening to talk about the week. Since the babies I have not been able to run properly, as I had some pelvic floor issues, which did not improve much during chemo and this is why I challenge myself today to do a 30 min run!

I wait until the sun is setting and run at a very slow pace, ready to stop any minute, but here we go!! I manage 30 minutes ….. whooohooooo!!! My joints and ligaments say hello, I am red as a tomato, but I manage 3,25km and am super proud of myself! Hello running my old friend …. I am back in the game! Yipeehhh!!! As I recover from what feels like a marathon, the endorphins kick in and I am flying through the rest of the evening! Yeah – donations made on my Step up to 30 page £182,56 🎉

Physical activity of the day – we take the bikes to go to our friends Nathalie & Gregor’s garden party – 45 minutes one way! The problem is that you also have to go back at night and a champagne and a couple of Pimm’s cocktails do not really help! 2/30 of my Step up for 30 challenge completed – I am off to bed to recover 😜

£173 have been raised – thank you ❤️

Feel it on the first! 9 months ago, I had just stopped nursing my second child and would have loved to have another baby, but instead, I was diagnosed with breast cancer….the only reason that it was detected this early, was because I felt it myself – not that I checked, it was by accident while showering…. lucky me. My gynecologist did check in May and there was nothing there. It grew within no time, as it is super aggressive, fast growing and this kind of tumor loves to spread! I am hopefully on the right path to tell it where it can go, but if I had not felt it, the outlook could have been much worse….

I sit for ages on the steps outside the radiation center…. 24/28 is in the books, yeah, and I think I got away quite lucky, as there is redness, but it is not too bad. My physio therapist considered it badly burned, but I have seen worse and it does not bother me – apart from being exhausted.

I think about not being fit enough to look after my kids by myself, but also about Tom, Dany, Vriesl and my other cancer companions…. in a way it is all surreal and on the other hand scary, but also wonderful, horrible and horrendous, hilarious and tragic – all at once!

I get up and walk in my usual ‚robot‘ style for a few meters until the stiffness is gone. I look forward to getting up smoothly and to no longer dreading stairs …. thank goodness that this is temporary! Off to the doctor to get June’s sick note…. and then I am peeping into two shops, as I need a dress for a wedding and buy a tennis dress Oh no … what am I thinking 😂

It must be the heat, but suddenly I am too exhausted to drop off my sick note at work, even though it’s around the corner and I forget to buy cake for Mia’s little belated birthday get together with her friend Lia. I manage to quickly bake one, but I also rest and have a lovely afternoon/ evening!

Physical activity for the day!?!?!? Hmmm…. 🤔 after two glasses of champagne I actually get my yoga mat out and do 30 minutes of Kundalini yoga way past 10pm …. totally rocking the „Step Up for 30“ challenge – 1/30 is done and get a notification that I already raised £100 before even starting….. wow! You guys are amazing – thank you so much!!! I will sleep very well tonight!

Guess what – there is some news for you – I am soooo tired today! It is a public holiday though and I want to do something fun with the kids…. no chance of leaving the house yet! I am physically there, but I feel like I am trapped in a parallel universe… far away from my kids. Even a little resting does not help! In a hopeless try to get more energy, I eat two bars of chocolate, no, no little bars…. ahhhh, I know…. and yes, it is a complete fail and I have even less energy….my circulation hits rock bottom 😴 and my joints and bones hurting every time I get up, does not really add any joy….

In an attempt to beat my fatigue, as exercise is good during cancer treatment and to do something good, I decide to fundraise for Bowel Cancer UK in their „Step up for 30“ campaign. Throughout June I will be stepping up and doing 30 minutes of physical activity every day for 30 days – watch this space …. might even start to play tennis 😉 as part of this challenge! You can support me donating to my Just Giving page! And yes, it starts tomorrow and the way I feel today, I might just straight away sign off again 😂

Highlight of my day? My kids picking flowers for me and I hope that my mojo returns as I drag my body into the forrest, where the kids play and I walk along and sit around. „Look at that, there is someone, who wants to go skiing!“ Is Leos answer to a Nordic walker passing by, who naturally hears that as well, but does not even blink 😂 To my shock, I notice – and I promise that it is pure coincidence and I am not a city nerd – that I am wearing a green dress and happen to have…. again, no clue where that came from… painted my nails green today! Living the outdoor experience full on!

My vocal therapist talked about forrest bathing and while I sit on a stump, watching Markus and my kids pass by, I try it…. it is just being mindful, listening to the birds, sucking in the fresh air and nature’s energy…. I love the peace – until one of the kids falls, cries, is thirsty, hungry, bored or needs a cuddle 😉 in Mummy terms, any five minutes are quite an achievement!

I am still exhausted, but I feel better and my mood has equally brightened up. Time for the kids to go to bed and for me to have a glass of Aperol Spritz outside before I crawl into bed myself!