My first day of freedom?!? Not really! It is nice not to go to radiation for a change, but the next lot of appointments is waiting….

I have a lovely breakfast with Andrea and Simone, but then my gynecologist Dr. Rix confirms that it does not look like that my period is coming back, which means that I won’t have to get the injections to oppress any ovary activities while on anti hormone therapy.

My oncologist Dr. Reiser explains the new chemo cycle, which will start on Thursday. I have to taken Cepectabin (a form of Xeloda) each morning and evening for the duration of two weeks and then pause for one week. Side effects are usually skin irritations on hands and feet and I shall try not to wear tight shoes, as once I have blisters they tend to not heal easily…. ok. He said I should be careful with the sun for one year post chemo anyway and the same goes with this chemo…. what else? Colon issues, nausea, vomiting can happen, but if so, I shall call. We are starting with a small dosage and increase it in week two and then I shall see him again…. I can go away once I know how my body reacts and am allowed to do anything that is good for me.

I am sad now and neither have the time nor the energy to visit Sabrina in Hospital, but will try to do it tomorrow…. I am not happy about having gained weight, not happy to face another chemo and briefly discussed the anti hormone therapy with Dr. Reiser…. if I will do it, I will try Tamoxifen, as there is no medical indication that suggests that I should choose the heavier anti hormone therapy.

I am sitting in the tube with my box of chemo pills and feel alone and frustrated. I pick up Mia and try to do a little plan of what is ahead of me in the next few months…. if I have to do the full dosage, I will be taking my last chemo pills on November 21 😳 additionally our household aid Jessica is sick and I hope all will fall into place anyway!

Highlight of my day – chemo nurse Frau Fassbender – it is great that I will see her again on a regular basis 😀 and somehow it feels good that my blood is being checked and that they will continue documenting my blood levels in my old chemo booklet. Having a routine will also be nice, as it will give my weeks a rhythm…. time to clean myself up and do that next chemo!

Sports for my #stepupfor30 challenge for Bowel Cancer UK – it is Yoga tonight, so I don’t have to think about doing anything else 🙏

A very uneventful day – we visit Markus‘ parents in the middle of nowhere and since Dany happens to live nearby, we quickly stop by and say hello.

Day 10 of my #stepupfor30 challenge and I decide to go for a swim – because I finally can do it again…. yeah! Lentpark has a nature pool and I love it – quick 30 min spin and I am done! Bliss! Well, actually everyone has to leave the water 15min after I start, but I ride the bike there and considering what I have done yesterday, I think that is enough 😉

Day 9/30 of my #stepupfor30 challenge for Bowel Cancer UK – £207,56 raised 🎉 – and am I over ambitious ?!?

Today is the Race for Survival on the other side of the Rhine river. Unfortunately I did not hear about it until two days ago, which is unbelievable, as I am still in treatment and live in Cologne?!? Apparently they promote via a mailing list of 12.000 survivors and seem not to actively include new ones, but some of us found our way 😉

Secondly it might have been a mistake to ride the bike to the run and back, do the warm-up while holding Mia in my arm, doing the 5km and to do the yoga cool down/ stretch?!? And why did I push the pram with Mia and Leo most of the way 🤦‍♀️?!? Whatever it is, I can hardly walk anymore as my thighs are killing me 😜 additionally it was about 1.000 degrees hot and no cloud in sight – I am done for the day, hope I have no sunstroke and will have a really quiet evening now! Pfewwwww…. but I am proud of myself and happy I bumped into Linda again, who I briefly met at the Blogger4Charity event in Düsseldorf in April.

Vino – I really deserve you today!

Radiation 28/28 – I say thank you, give them a thank you card and a large jar of my homemade strawberry rhubarb jam for their breakfast corner and hope that I won’t see them again! The end is here and I am proud beyond belief! ….have not done anything, just layed flat on a bench 28 times….big deal, but it is another big step on the way. Next stop onchology …. again 😉

I am allowed to have a bath again, go swimming and can’t wait!! I might hit the natural pool in Lentpark or go to Fühlinger See! No sauna for six weeks, no hardcore or nude sunbathing, always 50+ protection, check up in September!

I make my way through the rain to Haus LebensWert. Despite the grey skies, I am happy and full of energy! Today is my first session with my new psycho oncologist and somehow I am somehow embarrassed to write about it…. yet another one – wish I would get some frequent flyer miles, but this will hopefully be my permanent one!

I visit Sabrina for lunch in hospital – she is one tough cookie – and who do I bump into in the same spot as last time? Kindergarten buddy Lars brightens this rainy day – so good to see him – but I have no time for coffee today …. I need to pick up Leo, then pick up his buddy Jakob and bring them to music school…. yeah!

Picking up the kids and cruising through the day feels wonderfully normal and I feel that I have the energy and power to do it! Even cleaned up the flat prior to radiation …. I will live on this high and try to do normal things at least until my chemo starts! Hello normality!

#stepupfor30 activity for today – I will go for a run or do yoga at home – depending on the weather! What about an evening swim?!? Mind you, apparently a diver saw a 3m long catfish in Fühlinger See 😳?!?!

How could I miss this – Saturday is Race for Survival in Cologne – it is a 5km run or a 2km walk for the cure of breastcancer! The online registration is closed! Just come along – that is what I will do!

I am not in a good mood – I am tired, I feel like I have a hangover and I just make it to radiation 27/28 (whooohooo!) on time, when the insurance company calls me. She is just checking something about my sick note and oh, yes, just out of interest, where am I standing treatment wise? Why do I always get the feeling that they are up to no good or want to catch me out?!? Mind your own business, I am busy with therapy …. anyway, back to business – radiation and tomorrow, I have my second and final appointment with Dr. Ricke in the radiation center 🎉

TGIF and what is happening next week? Lots of doctor appointments and the start of my new chemo! I will know all the details on Monday and I cannot wait – then I can plan some holiday!

The lack of sleep does not help and I rest at lunchtime being completely overwhelmed by the thought of doing any paperwork… physical activity of the day?!?! Simply the thought exhausts me already…. over and out!

To add to my foul mood, I notice that I gained weight…. brilliant – just what I need 🤦‍♀️

My physiotherapist Frau Dietrich let’s me do some weights today – not that I like doing weights…. I really don’t – not my cup of tea, but since it is 20 minutes and I ride my bike there, I have my 30 minutes for the #stepupfor30 challenge in the books!

I pick up Mia, get some groceries with her and have a nice afternoon with the kids. Now I need calm and quietness and my kids seem to understand ❤️

I am on the train home – what a wonderful trip! My batteries are recharged for all my doctor appointment ms next week and the next chemo! Bye bye Berlin – I will try to come back early July to see my former flatmate Aiden…

We have breakfast at Annette’s and I am in love with her flat…. old wooden floors with a beautiful 4,30m high stuccoed ceiling, but it is probably also Annette adding to the charm of this place spiked with lovely little details. We walk all over Kreuzberg, shop a little bit and decide to top our endless scroll with some proper exercise. Yeah!

My daily sports programme for Bowel Cancer UK’s #stepupfor30 challenge takes Maja and myself to the former airfield of the abandoned airport Tempelhof! What an amazing place, where we meet wind surfers, kite flyers, incline skaters and join in the fun for a thirty minute double Gokart spin….

We quickly grab a late lunch at Mustafa’s Gemüse Kebab, where you normally queue for an hour, relax in Cafe Eule at Gleisdreieck Park – a little peaceful oasis and say good bye to Denise, her daughter Liv and wonderful Berlin! We will be back ❤️

Maja and I take it easy and are strolling through Berlin.

Sport of the day for my #stepupfor30 challenge is a brisk walk along Landwehrkanal spiked with some exercises 😉 and we do everything by foot today! A for effort! £192,56 whooohoooo!!

We are meeting Maja’s friend Annette for Vietnamese lunch, Swenja (who I last saw in Acapulco about 16 years ago) for coffee and float through the day, meet Denise, who we are staying with, for dinner & cabarett – Ulan & Bator. Sebastian – is he Ulan our Bator?!?? whatever – used to be Maja’s neighbour in Cologne, but we go to see them in Berlin….. excellent show though, even if I can hardly sit at the end anymore, but I am laughing my head off!

What happened to radiation?!? Well, I get two days off, as they need to do four this week and since I had a double session on Monday, my next appointment is on Thursday. Whooohooo!

🎵🎶 Berlin – Du bist so wunderbar – Berlin …. lalala 🎵🎶

Tonight Maja and I are boarding the train to Berlin, but beforehand I have to drop off the kids in Kindergarten, run a few erands, pack, clean up the flat, do my #stepupfor30 challenge in between radiation treatment 25/28 and 26/28….yeah! And pack…. you know me mastering my procrastination skills…. therefore I am doing my blog now and will once again manage to throw everything in my suitcase within five minutes 😉

I am happy to break away from my radiation routine and my Mum will be here with the kids! Somehow I have suddenly another three trips to Berlin lined up each month now, as I try to be there again beginning of July, mid August and mid September – I love it! I just have to work my chemo schedule around them and build in a little holiday with the kids, but I see my oncologist next week and can do the fine tuning with him….

It is only day 4 of my #stepupfor30 challenge and I wonder what I can do for the rest of the 30 days! For today I am finding a shady spot in the garden for some relaxing Yin Yoga ….. any suggestions for the other 26 days?!? I have a few sport dates lined up already, so come and join me!

I just figured out today that I can see who donated – I am speechless!! This is so much appreciated!! Thank you ❤️ Love you guys!

Good Housekeeping at it’s best! Why?!? If only I would know…. we start with an easy Sunday and around lunchtime Markus takes the kids to the zoo – I want to join them, but first want to cook my second lot of strawberry rhubarb jam, watch the Blogger4Charity film from our last event on You Tube and install our automated watering system on the terrace and the balcony, which takes longer than expected and they already back before I even had a shower…. hmmmm…. why do I do these stupid things instead of spending time with my kids?!?!!

The film stays in my mind – Blogger4Charity is what I support, it is also my message to check yourself and insist to get properly checked by your doctor, if you feel something is wrong! Together we can make a difference – this is something worthwhile supporting, no matter if you are a patient or healthy! Thank you Natalie for connecting us, for all your hard work & love you put into this and I hope I can be at the next event in Berlin (18 August 2018) ❤️

Running has a very special place in my life, as it was my way into being regularly physically active despite working the seven seas…. I managed to run three marathons after starting land life and really enjoyed it. It was my kind of meditation, my way to switch off and since Markus and I had a long distance relationship for years, we would always go for a run Friday evening to talk about the week. Since the babies I have not been able to run properly, as I had some pelvic floor issues, which did not improve much during chemo and this is why I challenge myself today to do a 30 min run!

I wait until the sun is setting and run at a very slow pace, ready to stop any minute, but here we go!! I manage 30 minutes ….. whooohooooo!!! My joints and ligaments say hello, I am red as a tomato, but I manage 3,25km and am super proud of myself! Hello running my old friend …. I am back in the game! Yipeehhh!!! As I recover from what feels like a marathon, the endorphins kick in and I am flying through the rest of the evening! Yeah – donations made on my Step up to 30 page £182,56 🎉

Physical activity of the day – we take the bikes to go to our friends Nathalie & Gregor’s garden party – 45 minutes one way! The problem is that you also have to go back at night and a champagne and a couple of Pimm’s cocktails do not really help! 2/30 of my Step up for 30 challenge completed – I am off to bed to recover 😜

£173 have been raised – thank you ❤️