Ommmm…. this is our spiritual awakening day!

We start with Yin Yoga with Denise. This is now our daily must have…. you simply lay there and place tennis balls and other props to work on your fascias. Half an hour later is crystal bowl meditation. „Don’t you think it’s too much?“ Silke worries, but since you only lay on your back and listen – it is a bit like a siesta and last time someone was even snoring 😉 Off we go to Shervin and his bowls and it is very relaxing! Crystal bowls are despite what one might think, apparently a waste product from micro chip producers in Silicone Valley. Someone notices in the 70s the sounds coming from the dumpsters and came up with the idea 😂

We only have time to quickly have a smoothie and call home before Levi welcomes us to his Sharmanic Breathwork session….. and what a breathtaking experience it is….no worries, I am too much a head person to have an outer or inner body experience, but shortly after the music starts, there is screaming and crying, which takes my concentration a little bit away from my breathing. After a while my hands start tickling though, then my arms, my face and my whole head – it is hot and I do not think that it is another hot flash 😉 I shake a bit and I cry and continue to concentrate on the breath ….. Silke and I hug at the end and I am so happy that we are sharing these experiences. It is time to let all the tension go, the months with chemo and the worries….No worries, Torsten, your wife is ok and will meet you on Tuesday in Bangkok as planned 🙏

We relax in the Yoga Barn restaurant, while it starts to rain heavily and chats with Merlin from Sweden. It is already dark by the time the rain calms down a bit …. well, that is what we thought. Just walking to the main road, we are drenched, the streets turn into rivers and there is thunder and lightning …. we told Merlin that it never rains for long periods…. hmmm….. we go to the Ubud Aura Retreat Center, which is right next door to the Yoga Barn, to book a room for the rest of our stay and decide to take a taxi home. It continues to rain cats and dogs, while we sit on our terrace.

We planned an early night anyway, as we are being picked up at 5:50 am tomorrow morning to…. hold your breath….. visit a temple with Balinese cleansing and healing 😜 as promised we are having the full enchilada! Watch this space for some more spiritual enlightenment 😉

It’s Silke’s Birthday and we start the day celebrating Bali style – with Bintang beer after yet another excellent vegan dinner at Sayuri Healing Food….

Meditation and yoga are something that really helped me during the chemo months. Not only physically, but also emotionally and this is why I am here now – meditation & yoga!

This morning I am crying during Yin Yoga with Levi, but I get calmer as I go along. He tells me about his Sharmanic Breathing class the next day and I will give it a try!

The center of our days is the Yoga Barn and we meet people from all over the world, but have enough time for ourselves. We are actually being asked twice today, if we are sisters – I guess they might think I am naturally blond?!?

During the afternoon I have the most powerful meditation with Punnu and when he goes around to place his hands on everyone’s head, I feel heat and suddenly I am sobbing and I have no idea why. I actually cannot stop crying, but leave full of love in a calm and happy state as I leave. I need to let go! Punnu is amazing!

I dry up my tears – time for birthday drinks with Silke …. green smoothies with Chia seeds and then we are off to Woman’s Balance Yoga with Tina, which is apparently working against PMS and menopause sympthoms…. well, I had a hot flash during the last exercise, but who knows 😉 The class was amazing though and as the upper studio in the Yoga Barn is open to all sides we feel like floating in the sunset!

I can be quite unlovable lately, as I am still very emotional, sensitive and complicated, but my friends are very tolerant with me! Thank you for that – especially Silke on her birthday, but also Conny, Simone, Hannah, Maja and all the others for endless chats during sleepless nights, long phone calls, many coffee chats and always listening to me and being there for me no matter how crazy the non-sense is I talk about …. I know I am more on a receiving then a giving end 😘 I look forward to being myself again, but I think I am on a good way and I feel day by day improvements – Bali was the best decision ever….. and I will be a better friend to all of you in the future!

As we jump into the pool before dinner, heaven opens and a tropical shower makes it an amazing experience, before an ‚enchanted‘ birthday dinner at Mama Warung, a local Balinese restaurant next to a little temple, where a ceremony is being held…. I feel like I am in a movie with all the bells ringing – what a magic experience🙏

One funny thing about Ubud is that every restaurant closes at 10pm – we really hurry, but don’t make it before 9pm and decide to go for birthday drinks somewhere else, but the bars are closed as well – guess the yogis are not the best late night customers and we end up with beers from the kiosk and birthday cake on our terrasse once again 😉

One side effect of chemo is menopause. Even if artificial, it comes with the same side effects – hot flashes and I have them all the time….not that it isn’t hot enough here 😉 on a positive note – the humidity is wonderful for my dry sinuses, which are no longer dry 😀!

In Ubud almost everything is vegan, but dinner was delicious ….. a lot of cancer patients try to go for a healthier diet after their diagnosis or when in remission. I think I could easily go vegan and I would not miss anything, as I already drink no milk and am not the biggest cheese or meat fan and I am a happy to go vegan while here, but it would be too stressful at home 😉 There is however no alcohol at the …. and we decide to have a beer on our terrasse at the Desak Putu Putera Cottages.

This has not happened for a while, but I am awake during the night 🙄 I thought that would be better by now…. oh well, I was told that the chemo fun would last for a while….

I love going for a swim before breakfast – pure bliss! Today our spiritual awakening starts with a Yin Yoga session with Denise at the Yoga Barn 😉 – it is a very gentle yoga, just what the beaten chemo body can do and now I can braid my toes …. what is your superpower?!? We basically spend the whole day at the Yoga Barn, with lots of vegan food and drinks, do the Crystal Bowl Meditation and finish with Yin Yoga Healing with Carin with the patter of the rain a very peaceful experience🙏

Anticipating that I would wake up early, I had the naive idea of going surfing at 7am, when it is low tide 😂

The sun shines through the gaps between the wooden planks of my little hut. I feel happy and full of energy. It is past 9am and I have not slept this long for a while….. normally Mia is up between 6 and 7… and this is why I am here, even though I miss them a lot!

We try to talk every day, they send me pictures and videos, I do the same and with the Tonies Box I can tell them a good night story, which they can listen to while I am already asleep ❤️ I make them up every day, as I go along – It is the story about a little mouse and a little bear travelling, which is my way of sharing some of my experiences with them…. In Ubud I don’t want to be online too much and generally don’t like it that WiFi exists practically everywhere, but now I am happy about it, as I can stay in touch with the kids.

By the time I have breakfast, meditate, chat to Suparna and get ready, it is almost time to leave – therefore I relax, read and enjoy the peace and quietness of this place before making my way to the airport to meet Silke.

Missing chemo side effects – I did not have any nose bleeds since arriving in Bali 😀, my mind is calmer today, I can read a whole chapter almost at once, my nails seem to grow faster, my hair growth seems a bit more even (watch the space …. I am monitoring it very closely 😉), joint pains are less – the warm weather helps I guess …. cannot wait for the blown up face and body to get better though (maybe the heat does not help here), but I am happy about the things that have improved!

I meet Silke at the airport and thankfully there is WiFi, so while I talk to the kids, I somehow miss her and she calls me. Off we go to Ubud. Silke and I use the long drive for a catch-up and time flies. On the busy mainroad, there is a little gateway, which could easily be missed and a narrow road leads to this little paradise. From reception you descend to the restaurant and rooms. We are in the middle of a little jungle, right next to the pool ….. I am one happy girl! Ubud – we will check you out later and go for a swim now 😎

Bali – finally!! I have been waiting for this since October…. it was my goal after chemo! I never knew, if I would be fit enough to go, if I would actually go, but it kept me going…. I have been to many countries working on the ships and being a happy traveller, but Bali is somewhere I have never been.

„Just one person?“ The driver is sweet, but makes me cry right away! I have travelled my times by myself….Maybe I am overly tired, but I cannot stop crying and talking about my cancer I cry even more…. poor chap… it is a bit too much for him, but I cannot help it and half way to Canggu I am ok again 😉

The place is even better than on AirBnB and I have two beers on the terrace outside my little hut and love it, while I catch up with family & friends. There is a little river purling next to me and I am embedded in a little chirring jungle – what a peaceful place.

I have a restless sleep, wake up early and I am not happy – what is wrong with me?!? After breakfast and mediation on my little patio, I go to the beach…. it looked a bit closer on the map, but I make it and watch the surfers…. maybe I can try it? Have not done it since 2004 in Costa Rica! After 2pm the sea shall be calmer, as it’s low tide and until then I relax a bit in the Old Man’s bar on the sofas and go online to speak with the kids a few times (poor Leo has a fever & vomited 😢), chat with Nick and read…. yep – I can read again …. whooohoooo – and recharge my batteries!

I am happy, despite the fact that I should stay out of the sun post chemo and because I am super pale, which limits the possibilities a bit…. actually a lot, but I try to make the best out of it and give myself credit for having already avoided the lunchtime sun … and the surf guys promise to give me extra sun blog 😎 It is 2pm it gets a bit cloudy – thank heaven for that – and off I go! Two tries, I don’t get beyond kneeling and have no energy left 😂…. but at least I tried! The clouds stay and I am thankful, as I can stay on the beach now, get a massage, read, watch the sunset with a beer and a spicy corn on the cob and only have to run, when it starts raining….what a perfect day!

I met this Australian guy two nights ago, who lives in Singapore and has been many times to Bali …. he suddenly had this glow in his eyes talking about Ubud, the rice fields and the calm and magic this place holds – I am certain that this was the best choice to go there next. Healing, cleansing, recovering – bring it on 😉 I will have the full enchilada, but first I have one more night in Canguu at Suparna’s place, before I meet Silke tomorrow and we make our way to Ubud🙏

Healthy tan? No… orange sun block 😂…. last time I looked like that it was Karneval 🎉

Hera arrived late last night, but we went for a beer at the waterfront, chatted forever and saw the New Years fireworks!

The view from the 19th floor is amazing, I meditate with the rising sun in my face and spend the morning at the pool chatting away – pure bliss! The funny thing with no hair is though that I still stike it …. or rather nothing….out of my face after diving …. every time 😉

Being at the pool, I wear no make-up and look ill, but am so happy to have waterproof eyebrows…. it makes such a difference!

After a quick lunch, I need to dash to the airport….. next stop Bali 🙏

Smooth travels for the handicapped 😉 I get an electric car to the gate – the last time I had the pleasure was in Dubai, when we were so late for our flight (I mixed up the time) that they drove us with one of these cars in order to have a chance at all to make it with two kids and a buggy – and since Leo wanted the ride one the minute he first saw one, it kind of taught him the wrong lesson, but he probably forgot by now 😉

I treat myself to a little massage prior to boarding and the gate is empty when I get back, but all is good! As I go past the upper classes, I am a bit jaleous, as I could do with a proper bed, but being super tired, I will probably dose off 😴 a cheeky wee wine helps – just half a glass!

I pre-ordered an Indian vegetarian – thanks Suse for the tip – and it is one of the best airline meals I ever had…. and I had quite few! I will try to eat no sweets from now on…but they serve Häagen-Dazs icecream 😜 …. I ate a lot of sugar lately and now with no chemo, this does not feel right. I have the urge for sour wine gum, but really this is not about sugar and Bali will help me to calm down and rest and somehow eliminate the use of sugar as a power device 😉

Being escorted in Singapore is fabulous, but why do I have to sit in a wheelchair?!? Well, whatever – smooth ride to the taxi and off I go to the Mandarin Oriental, where Hera is staying …. problem, she will only arrive in five hours. No problem for me – I find the restrooms and get scared. This face looking back from the mirrow is an old man and I really want my eyelashes back now, but it is not only that I want my power back and my eyebrows and I did shave my head again before my flight and it is finally time for even hair growth and I want my body back (though the Physio lady said I was less fat now 😉) and my face is still blown up ….. ok, that does not help! I clean myself up, put a dress on, paint what is left of my toe nails and hit the road.

The Chinese New Year Festival is just on the opposite side of the road along the waterfront and I am fit enough for a scroll while the sun is setting and it is amazingly beautiful! I sit for ages at the waterfront, breath the warm air – it reminds me of my time at sea – and I realize that I have not been to Singapore forever! I have dinner at a rooftop bar and a virgin mojito, as it starts to rain again, but there is music and I am happy that I can be here! Happy Chinese New Year!

Today, it is packing day 🤦‍♀️ …. I have the whole day though! I am an expert in procrastination though…. I go to physio, do a moderate training with the running Mamas, have coffee with Mona, chat with Nick and do whatever I can do to distract myself from packing 😉

I do close my backpack one minute before I have to pick up Leo from Kindergarten and spend a wonderful last afternoon with my kids. They are adorable and Markus made a little book with them containing pictures and drawings and I am crying my eyes out! I absorb every minute and am now sitting on the train to Frankfurt….. next stop Singapore!