7 February 2019

What is this?!? Prison?!? A boarding school?!?

I cannot really say what I think about it all and will give it time, but there are strict rules and if you forget to sign at mealtimes, they come and find you! If you take soup, you are not allowed any dessert. What?!? And despite the fact that they emphasize their aim for a regional and healthy cuisine, I am not impressed to see tetra pack eggs and long life bread sealed in little plastic bags…. it can only get better.

The rain does not help my mood and I don’t see it yet, but I will give it a chance… I have been welcomed, examined and I am waiting for my therapy plan now!

The people I met so far are nice and I am thrilled to see the crafts room with sewing machines and lots of materials and cannot wait to go for a swim! They do not allow any breast cancer patients into the sauna though 😢

What I really enjoy though is the peace and quietness…. I am tired beyond belief and plan to rest after lunch, but this is when my therapy plan for the rest of the week kicks in – walking is planned and despite the rain, I think this is exactly what I need! Onwards and upwards 😉

6 February 2019

Today is THE day…. I have packed – yes, my skies are traveling along…. you never know – and I am on the train to rehab!

I really look forward to me time, to get fit again and to mindfulness. The train is not the fast ICE, but the Eurocity, slowly winding it’s way along the Rhine river. The sun is shining, the river misty and I am happy to let my eyes and mind wonder.

I might not be posting every day, as I will use the opportunity to digitally detox a bit – I will see how it goes, but will definitely share my rehab life, progress and experience.

I am dosing off, am already unwinding and continue to enjoy my ride to Freiburg, while little villages, the Lorelei and deserted vineyards pass by.

5 February 2019

Last night, yes we can_cer invited me to see the premiere of „Red Band Society“ movie!

I have never been to a movie premiere and help promote yes we can_cer, but also have a great evening! Yes we can_cer’s aim is a fearless cancer communication without tabus amongst everyone, patients and anyone connected to cancer! Check them out and get the app!

The movie is very emotional and I cry my eyes out, have a chance to see some friends and acquaintances, people I am only in contact with through the social media and people I only know through the social media or TV. The author Albert Espinosa, who wrote his own story, was there and it really touched me to put a ‚real‘ face to this story.

We went to the after show party at Maybach’s and despite being super tired, it was a great way to spend #worldcancerday and I am planning to pack for my rehab NOW, as I am leaving tomorrow 😉 Procrastinating away….

Do you recognize Sandra from my profile photo!?!?

4 February 2019

#worldcancerday

Cancer Blogger Diana, Krabbamein – der Krebs und ich and Flügelbruch e.V. initiated the campaign #darkside/ #schattenseite to shed some light onto the fact that cancer isn’t just diagnosis, treatment and back to life, but something you live with for the rest of your life, as we not only keep our physical and mental scars, but also some longterm side effects!

Check out the album or the video!

The earlier a tumor is found, the better the chances to survive and keep the aftermaths as minimal as possible. You only have this one body, this one life…

Cancer does not discriminate, you are never too young, you are not special, even if you are a non-smoking vegan pregnant sports fanatic … I was 43 and had only stopped nursing my second child one week earlier – there is no protection….

I discovered the lump in my breast accidentally and I am forever grateful I did, as I never checked my breasts! I also thought that I had the mollycoddle cancer – the easy treatable one – but cancer is cancer…. no matter what cancer, what stage, what treatment…. it plays unfair and even the most promising diagnosis can end fatal.

Listen to your body and go to all possible check ups.

For me, there were a lot of positive things that came along with the cancer, I show that you can to a certain extend still do ’normal‘ and fun things, while undergoing treatment, I am happy to be involved with charities and campaigns, support cancer research and foundations, BUT that does not mean that I wanted it – by no means. I am happy how things turned out, I focus on the positive things, as I cannot change the negative ones, but by no means would I ever say that I am thankful for cancer – it is still cancer we are talking about!

I am happy to give cancer a face and a voice though, as we need to lift the tabu, make it a normal part of everyday life and need to use the word – CANCER instead of ‚it‘, ‚your situation‘ or whatever synonyms people come up with, when trying to avoid cancer talk!

Cancer research is advancing and the treatments have improved tremendously, but there is no cure for cancer – yet! Please support the organizations fighting it, supporting cancer research and cancer patients, but also the many people, who go public with their cancer journey, give cancer a face and openly talk about it!

3 February 2019

There is a room full of people – different ages, different backgrounds, different looks. There is laughter, there are tears, there is friendship and understanding. It could be a family gathering, a meeting of friends, a reunion?! No, it is a blogger workshop and some of these people I have never met in my life, have never heard of them and yet, there is this silent understanding, as we have one main thing in common – we all have or had cancer and know exactly what it is like. #nomorewordsneeded

The cancer bloggers also have other things in common (apart from cancer, obviously), as we are rather the communicative type, when it comes to our disease and our life with it, we want to inform, lift tabus, encourage (mainly others, but also ourselves) and like to connect – with other patients or people, fellow bloggers, charities, cancer organizations and groups and last, but not least, the industry.

Janssen Oncology invited a few of us to a blogger workshop, having realized a long time ago, how important the exchange with patients is, they called for a first blogger workshop last year. We all connected, stayed in contact and agreed that we have to repeat it again, as time flew by… and this is what happened Saturday – the Blogger Workshop 2.0.

The Düsseldorf location is equally cool – Sturmfreie Bude – and there are some faces from last year. It is that – the connection we all feel, whether we knew each other already or not.

Not only some bloggers are familiar, but the oncological psychologist, the photographer and the team from Janssen. The agency, who arranged it all again, was the same, but the faces were new – not making any difference in the seamlessly wonderful preparation of this event with a lot of attention to detail. One face was the same though – Kathe, who visually captured the highlights of our workshop.

Maybe due to the connections and the exchange amongst all of us, the time is too short… we listened to an amazing talks about cancer research including patients #VictoriesOverCancer, technical and legal knowledge concerning blogs and have an interesting session with the psycho oncologist. We all rushed last minute to our transfers, as we just do not want to depart.

The 24 hours were amazing and we want to connect more, continue to exchange and work together. I cannot wait for any projects and the Blogger Workshop 3.0! Thank you Janssen! I just love how the industry works more and more with the patients at eye level.

This year’s participants:

Conny from „Grosse Klappe, Krebs dahinter – ohne Gesundheit ist alles nichts“ – Instagram & Facebook

Don from „Schockdiagnose Krebs“ – Instagram & Facebook

Sabrina from „Always keep fighting“ – Instagram & Facebook

Mary from „Mary’s Blog – Mein Leben mit und nach Brustkrebs“ – Blog, Twitter, Instagram & Facebook

Susanna the „Krebskriegerin“ – Facebook

Sue from „Su-mmerfield – Diagnose Leben“ – Blog

Jenny from „It looks like Jenny“- Instagram

Last year’s participants, who were ‚virtually‘ connected:

Diana from „Krabbamein – der Krebs und ich“ – Insta & Facebook

Benni from „Cancelling Cancer – kein Weg zu weit“ – Blog, Instagram & Facebook

Alex the „Leukofighter“ – Blog, Instagram & Facebook

Marvin from „Fuck Cancer – das Leben mit Krebs und der Kampf“ – Facebook

Nessa from „Auf einmal war er da – Dottersacktumor“ – Facebook

What a pity that Dilek from „Leben 2.0“ (Facebook, Instagram) and Nicole the „Prinzessin uffm Bersch“ (Blog, Facebook, Instagram) could not make it….


2 February 2019

Janssen Oncology invited for their Blogger Workshop 2.0 and we all made our way to Düsseldorf!

I am happy, exhausted, inspired and will report en detail, but not tonight…. my kids are a bit poorly and it is time to come home.

Thank you for wonderful and inspiring 24 hours – I am feeling grateful!

1 February 2019

#feelitonthefirst – it’s that time of the month again that I want to remind you to check your boobs! Yes, all of you, as men can also have breastcancer – even without men boobs 😉

I accidentally found the knot in my breast and I am forever thankful that I did, as early detection is key!

And if you see a doctor, don’t let them brush you off with a „you are too young for breast cancer“, „oh, I can feel that it is only a cyst“…. you are never too young and you cannot feel, if it is breast cancer or not. Especially for young women, the best early detection is done by ultrasound!

Despite the fact that millions go into the mammogram screening program for the 50+s, nothing is done for the <50s in regards to screening. Ultrasound is something that is not included during your regular gynaecologist visit unless there is an irregularity. Why?!?

It is great that the +50 screening programm is in place, but there is an increasing amount of young women out there, who have very aggressive tumors like mine. Even if the screening age is lowered, a mammogram is not ideal for us, as my tumor was not seen on the mammogram….

This is something politicians should look at!

I am off to a 3D x-ray of my jaw bones and tonight I am meeting some of my Cologne blogger peeps to travel to the Janssen Onchology Blogger Workshop in Düsseldorf tomorrow. And guess what – all is packed for tonight 😉

31 January 2019

Procrastination – that is me…. however, having the to do to pack, I do a lot instead and am awefully proud of what I have achieved.

I bake my first ever zucchini brownies – not by her receipe, but inspired by Yavi ❤️

I make endless calls to get the confirmation that the pension fund will be paying for our household aids, while I am in rehab.

I organise a follow up dentist scan outside Cologne (where I have to be tomorrow morning).

I pack two large parcels for the „Platz schaffen mit Herz“ campaign, which is amazing. Otto are running several campaigns and this is one of them. You send all your old clothes, shoes, hats, any garments you no longer need including anything no longer fit to be reused and they sort it out, check what can be used and give the rest to be recycled into cushion fillings, cleaning rags or whatever. How cool is that?!? Whatever they ‚make‘ is donated to a charity and here is the wonderful part – you can choose from a list which charity you want to support. Naturally, I will support Andrea’s „Heldencamper„. Check it out!

Otherwise, Cologne is unexpectedly turned overnight in a proper Winter Wonderland and I am loving it! I am getting ready and try to pick up the kids with the sledge today. Oh, what a dream!

Have I packed? Not really 😉

30 January 2019

Today I hate cancer even more than normally, as it took little Jana away from her family. That’s not fair! Jana was about to turn 13 and was looking for stem cell donors.

Please make sure you register with DKMS – it only takes a few minutes – and/or donate blood, if you can, as Jana and other patients constantly need blood. I no longer can do either, so please take my place!

Today I am at the dentist! Before starting my bisphosphonat therapy, it is important that there are no infections anywhere in my jawbone. Despite having had the ok to go ahead with the therapy, I insist on a further check, as there is one area that could be infected. Why?!? Because in the worst case scenario – it is a low risk, but I rather don’t take a chance – I could face a osteonecrosis of my jaw, which means that I could loose part of or my entire jaw bone…. ahhh 😳

Cancer fatigue status update – my alternative practitioner visit helped and I did sports today with my running mamas and eat a lot of warm soup!

29 January 2019

Fatigue – I am tired of you!! I am already exhausted from waking unpin the morning!

I see my alternative practitioner today – Sabine Kakizaki – she says that anxiety frees my last energy reserves and is on a mission. Foot reflexology, burning moxa stick and acupuncture for my kidneys, liver, bones and energy … I have never had a moxa treatment, but it is a fuming stick, held close to your skin, as bit like incense. My body is extremely cold though and she recommends hot beverages and hot food, like stews and bouillon! I make it to Café Rotkehlchen and have done vegan lentil soup! Oh bliss!

I feel that I need to look after myself a bit more, decide not to meet my friends for coffee or tea, but go home and rest. I don’t even have the energy to socialize 😳 now, that is shocking! But the good thing is that I already feel better by the afternoon!

The sun is shining and I am soaking it in. I am quiet and calm, happier and more awake and I will continue to only socialize with my kids until Friday, when I will attend a cancer blogger dinner in preparation to our Janssen Cancer Blogger Workshop 2.0 on Saturday.

And guess what?!?? Claudia from Glam up your Lifestyle ran a price draw and I am the lucky winner of a FitBit Alta!! Whooop whooop – being on my active life!