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#GibAchtaufDich – eine Aktion der Kooperationsgemeinschaft Mammographie für den Brustkrebsmonat Oktober, aber es ist so viel mehr! Ja, natürlich ist ein Punkt, dass die Frauen über 50 regelmäßig am Screening Programm teilnehmen, aber was ist mit den jungen Frauen…. Brustkrebs diskriminiert nicht – es kann jeden treffen und in jedem Alter. Stillen, Schwangerschaft, nichts schützt Dich!

Also, achtet auf Euch, checkt Eure Brüste am 1. eines Monats und wenn Euch etwas suspekt ist, dann geht zum Arzt! Werdet Ihr gründlich untersucht? Jeder Knoten kann eine Zyste sein, aber ein Abtasten reicht nicht, sondern es muss geschallt werden!! Und lasst Euch nicht abwimmeln mit einem „Sie sind ja viel zu jung für Brustkrebs“ – #nevertooyoung. Bleibt beharrlich und wechselt den Arzt, wenn Ihr Euch nicht gut aufgehoben fühlt ❤️

Was wird eigentlich in der Vorsorge bei jungen Frauen gemacht? Tastet Ihr Euch ab? Ich hab es nie gemacht und ich meine nie – niemals… ehrlich nicht ein Mal…. ich hab den Knoten zufällig entdeckt – was ein Glück!

#gibachtaufdich umfasst aber soviel mehr – es beginnt mit Selbstliebe, Respekt, Achtsamkeit und sich einfach mal was Gutes tun, sich Zeit für sich selber nehmen, wann hast Du Dir das letzte Mal was Gutes getan? Geh in die Wanne, zur Massage, mach Sport, meditiere oder geh auf die Rolle und lass es krachen, tanze im Regen, feier bis die Sonne aufgeht – die Sonne putzen haben wir immer gesagt – und LEBE!

#Lookafteryourself – is a campaign initiated by the German mammogram screening cooperation, but mammograms are only a little part of our message! Yes, it is important to go and participate, if you are 50 and older, but what about the younger ones?!? Breast cancer does not discriminate – everyone can get it at any age! Pregancy, nursing – nothing will actually protect you!

Therefore, look after yourself, check your breast every first of the month and if something is suspicious, go and see a doctor! Are you being examined properly? Every lump can be a cyst, but feeling it is simply not enough, it needs to be sounded!! Don‘t let them brush you off for being „too young for breast cancer“ – #nevertooyoung. Insist on being checked properly or change your doctor, if you don‘t feel that you are in good hands ❤️

What prevention is in place for younger women? Do you check yourself regularly? Make sure you check yourself and look after yourself! I found my lump by accident – lucky me – as I never ever checked myself …. honestly not a single time!

#lookafteryourself is so much more though. Selflove, respect, mindfulness and just treating yourself to something good, have a date with yourself and when was the last time you spoilt yourself?!? Take a bath, have a massage, do sports, meditate or go out, let your hair down, dance in the rain, party until the sun is rising and LIVE!

#gibachtaufdich #brustkrebsfrueherkennung #mammographiescreening #gutinformiertentscheiden #breastcancerawareness #diemammomaedels

#throwbackthursday – me at LaufMamaLauf pumpkin training 18 October of last year.

Despite being a sportive failure by all means, hiding my insecurity with humor and feeling insecure in my body, sport has always played a major role in my wellbeing and I continue throughout my treatment to be active and attend my sports classes with the running mamas, do yoga as much as I can and ride my bike everywhere…. as time progressed I also started to run again (which actually had nothing to do with cancer that I didn’t, but rather with a not very supportive pelvic floor after my two pregnancies, which did not get better during chemo).

While I used to do sports to have the body I wanted sometimes in the future, I changed over time and use the benefits of sport in the here and now. Weight has always ruled my life, my mood and my self image and despite the fact that I now weigh almost 10kg more than in this picture, I am more secure than when I weighted 20kg less… I would lie, if I’d say that I totally accept my body the way it is now, but I found peace with it for the moment and know that there are more important things. If I manage to loose the weight again, I will be very happy, but it is not the only way to secure happiness. I am happy to be alive and I enjoy the here and now more than aiming for a future me.

„I am sure that it will go away again and you will be ok again“ is something that hurts me, when I mention that I am the heaviest I have ever been…. yes, I am not the skinny athletic beauty, but why do I have to loose it again to be ok. My personality did not change? I don’t want to waste any more time to strive for a future physical me …. It is a battle, but I have come a long way already to accept my new normal and it adds so much quality to my life. I try to abandon what I should be and try more to be what I am and what I can be.

Yesterday, as part of the Avène post cancer treatment programme, I once again attend pilates with Bruno – I missed the info last time, that this one and a half hour series of exercises was especially designed for cancer patients. There are a few familiar faces now and I am at ease – also because I feel that it is not as hard as last week and there are my new cancer mummy friends from the group therapy. The cancer folks are all French, as 80% of the patients, but the rest is beautiful international from Kuala Lumpur, Senegal, South Africa, Kambodia, Australia, Japan, USA, HongKong….. and I love it!

Sports or just being out and about was one of my key motivators …. it is not only that the side effects of chemo are apparently less, when you are active, the chemo also works better, says my onchologist!

I am very tired, but we all decelerate in this picturesque little valley near Avène and enjoy the tranquility and the time together ❤️

Chemo cycle 6/8 is in the books …. I actually look forward to one week without pills and I get ready to face the two more rounds and give my feet and hands extra pampering in the meantime 😉

What a tough day it was yesterday … emotionally – I need a while to digest it and I have a restless night.

The Avène post cancer treatment also caters to the emotional side effects of the therapy and after the Art Therapy last week, I am attending two group sessions with the psychologist – the discussion café and the photolangage session.

The discussion café is a round table with other patients, where each tells her story…. mainly breast cancer stories and mainly positive and strong stories of descending out of the cancer fiercely, but also broken, there are tears and sadness, when the sacrifices are being discussed, the weight that lays on the children, the loneliness, people, who leave us, the fatigue, the emotional rollercoaster rides …. we all cry, but feel empowered by the strength and positivity and the last lady to tell her stories, faces us again with the horrors and the unfairness of cancer.

She is sixty and has a rare blood condition and head and back pain proved to be metastasis …. all over her body with no possibility of treatment, as chemo and radiotherapy are not possible due to her blood condition and no doctor wants to take the risk. She is strong, emotional and positive and it scares me once again, as I look into the ugly face of cancer…. I hate you!

Straight away, we enter into the photolangage, but I am the only person who stays. Three new patients arrive, one, who I know from Art Therapy and there are plenty of photos layed out on the table in front of us. We have to choose four pictures each that we feel drawn to…and after the second women tells her story, we all cry….I am more emotional since having had my diagnosis and it is enough for me for the day. The last woman does not even manage to tell her story and we all leave drenched and very emotional. Yes, it helps, I am sure, but it is a process to face your emotions and for me, I have to think about it all night.

On a brighter note – the sun is out….. I start the morning tired, but positive and close my eyes as the sun rays touch my face. The valley shimmers in the brightest colours and we are eager to go outside, walk around, maybe play minigolf and just enjoy our time together until my Pilates class.

Having the kids here, does not leave me any time to myself outside the therapy and classes, but I am happy to spend quality time with them and the last week I will be all by myself and I look forward to that too.

Check out Stella McCartney’s breast cancer awareness campaign – it fits in well with the amazing women I met yesterday….

Take the day off for a good cause!

Clinique launched a social media champaign to support breast cancer research!

It is really easy:

– take off your make-up

– post a picture or a video on YouTube or Instagram

– mark it with #takethedayoffchallenge and #TimeToEndBreastCancer

Clinique will donate 10€ for each post to Breast Cancer Research! Every post counts!

Now, that is an easy way to support breast cancer research, isn’t it?!? Let’s raise awareness and support research to find a cure!

What a wonderful break – one day in Carcassonne – one day without rain – one day of happy sunshine – one day of culture, people, little shops, busy streets and lots of history….. and my kids are so happy, glowing, bright-eyed and smiling….

And despite the fact that I am not a fan of children’s arms, I get Leo a full knight outfit – well, his granny did in fact…. what the heck – he is so happy and it is all the soft foam and we are sorted for next carnival. Do I spoil my kids?!? Yes! And I do it intentionally and from the bottom of my heart. You cannot make up for missed time, for the times they only play a second role, for days spend at home instead on the playground, as Mummy is too weak to go out…. we explore the castle, buy candy and ice cream and two happy, tired and very stick kids travel back with me to Avène!

„Gosh, there is so much I have to tell my friends in Kindergarten – I might have to bring my knight outfit for toy day, I guess!“ Laying in bed next to an excited Leo raving about knights and kings, adventures and heroism, makes my heart melt and despite being exhausted, it was energy well invested and I want the memories to last…

Today we stay here, watching the storm blast around hotel with heavy rain and Leo, Mia and their new friends are knights and protect the hotel lobby and the guests…I will go swimming with them now to present clean and happy kids at the cocktail reception tonight (Mia still has a whiff vomit odour from the car ride, which was a first and I was completely unprepared, but it did not spoil our day)!

Thank you, Avène, for organizing this trip – it was amazing!

Today I will one more time, draw your attention to the Look Good Feel Better patient programmes. It is run all over the world and it is something that not only helps the women feel better about themselves with make-up and tips and tricks how to draw eyebrows, of none of yours are left, no, it also gives a chance for an exchange with fellow patients and leaves them glowing inside and out.

There is cancer, but the seminars do not leave much room for it and focus on the women and their feelings. Thank you, DKMS LIFE, who run these seminars in Germany and do so much more to raise awareness! It is an heartfelt desire to support this charity that lives purely on donations and sponsors!

If you are a patient, go and join a seminar, they are free and run in most cities. Check out their website! And if you are not a patient and want to donate, you can also check out the website 😉

Apparently the thermal water makes your hair grow rapidly?!?! I had a haircut ten days ago…. but good to know I am not alone and get my hair trimmed during Leo’s hairdresser visit 😉

Little weather update – it is raining a bit less now and tomorrow we go to Carcassonne and it should be dry…. most of the day!

Today I get a little time out… not that the treatment isn’t one, but the water makes me tired and it is day six of me getting up before the kids and Mum and we all go to bed together at night… this morning she takes them to the park though, as the weather clears a bit and I linger in the bar overlooking the golden October foliage …. I drink tea, let my thoughts flow and float and actually continue writing my book. Pure bliss!!

And now we are off to the pool!

Treatment news – Dr. Petite will change the body wrapping to something else…. watch this space 😉.

Food plays quite an important role in my cure life….If I continue to eat at this pace, there will be more than my extra 10 kilos…. but the cuisine of the Avène l’Hotel is to die for…. and we are on full board…. I could get used to this, Avène ❤️

Body wrapping – yeah – after a dreadful night with restless episodes (funnily enough I would have expected heavenly sleep after all the respiration, relaxation and meditation) I am yawning and ready to be wrapped head to toe.

There is a comfortable bed waiting for me, Sandra put the cream on my back…. plenty, I slide onto the plastic lining, which covers the sheets, cream is put on the rest of my body, I am being wrapped in more plastic and wrapped into a duvet with an emergency button in reach. Sandra takes some pictures and 45 minutes of resting lay ahead of me, but already after one minute it starts to itch….. hmmmm…. maybe the sheet underneath my body is wrinkled?!? I try to adjust it, scratch and turn myself…. only 10 minutes have past and I try to get comfortable…. more itching and turning and after 30 minutes, there are sheets and blankets all over the feet and my body is no longer fully covered. I ring the bell….

A nurse arrives and is shocked to see the mess and says we stop it here and now. As I climb out of the cream, sheet and plastic foil mess, I see that my skin is actually bright red and I cannot stop itching…. plastic reaction I guess! I am glad to have escaped 😉 and I Wonder if there are alternatives for next week, but I am sure that there is a solution!

Now it is family time for the rest of the day with hair dressers and swimming! …. and somehow I need to get some rest 🤷‍♀️

Have you ever been in an old countryside home? Those one that blend in with the countryside, made of rough stones?

Well, there is a certain smell, when you enter them, a mixture of wood, dust and chimney wood fires.

Les Mûriers – the building where a lot of the afternoon classes are held, has this smell…. the building does not look that old, as it was probably renovated, but under the beautiful shell, there is the rough smell…. and it takes me back to 1994, when I was a babysitter and assistant to a family in Paris, who sold restored old farm houses near Dijon to Germans…. smelling this house, let’s me see Monsieur in front of the fireplace checking the Latin vocabulary of a very scared Xavier Alexandre or was that the younger brother? I see misty fields and horse stables and feel the cold winter draught sneak through the gaps in the walls, the smell of coffee and the taste of the fresh bread dipped into it.

Yesterday’s pilates started this trip down memory lane and during the breathing class today, I continue…. while I learn that nobody need shoulders for breathing – what an eye opener 😉…. I am extremely tired though, as our little excursion to Avène with two strollers this morning was rather tiring, but I am so happy that Elise from the thermal center organized them.

One hour of respiration is followed by 90 minutes of relaxation & meditation. I am so tired, but thanks to the lady from Alsace, who snores for the major part of the relaxation, I am in the here and now. Others get really annoyed and storm out of the class with the result that only half the class stays for the meditation – the lady from Alsace leaves with them and I feel sorry for her. If it annoys them so much, why not go over to her and wake her…. she probably would have equally appreciated it. If anyone ever does a class with me and I snore, can you please have mercy and wake me?!?!

The meditation really relaxes and calms me and reminds me that I need to find my rhythm again to meditate on a regular basis. While I was the youngest, yesterday, it is quite a mixed group today and we all part happy and tranquil. It is 5pm and I hope I will stay awake until dinner, but all the water and fresh air paired with cancer fatigue really exhausts me – apparently people are more awake in week two and three öfter treatment though…. fingers crossed!

My scalp is a bit itchy probably due to all the scalp massaging and I realize that I put cream all over my body after thermal therapy, but nothing on my scalp….. hmm…. I will ask tomorrow!

For those who asked – here are the prices and it is definitely worthwhile to check with you insurance company for coverage 😉

I am quite impressed with the amount of English speakers, who listen to my German Insta stories – therefore there is now an English story…. I use little flags to mark the language in order to make skipping easier 😉

It is raining cats and dogs and we still have not been to downtown Avène – let’s see what the afternoon brings. I have a sports class, but the rest of the day is family time…. I might take Leo to the hairdresser – he hardly can see anything ….

I am really being treated like royalty – they organized a trip for us on Sunday to Carcassone and they will organise a buggy for the kids, just to be on the safe side and a picnic lunch…. yeah, the French love their picnics 🤗