Here is something new…. I am tired 😂 and that’s why I am late with my July fundraiser!

I am participating in the #dryjuly challenge, not drinking any alcohol for one month and I am challenging you to donate to DKMS LIFE, who run the look good feel better patient programmes in Germany – cosmetic seminars for cancer patients! I support them, as this really makes a difference and to see some pale and sad faces leaving happy, smiling and radiant, is truly inspiring!

Click here for my Facebook donation page or donate to:

DKMS LIFE

Deutsche Bank AG Reutlingen

IBAN DE27640700850013230800

BIC DEUTDESS640

Subject: „Kick Cancer Chick“

Or click here to donate via their homepage!

I said I would double the donations once €100 are reached and while posting it, donations were already at €140…. thank you, please keep donating!!

Today is Kindergarten party and I am just recovering from the last few days…. I was doing alright during the day yesterday, but when Mia had enough last night, was screaming and shouting while I was trying to put her to sleep, I almost fainted….. sweat was pouring down my face, every bone in my body hurt and I felt weak and sick. Helpless not to have the physical and mental strength I used to have….. but I enjoyed the afternoon and evening and am putting some makeup on and getting my tissues ready for my wee boy singing in choir today at the kindergarten summer event ❤️❤️❤️…..

I manage alright, speak to some parents I have not seen for a while and am happy that my kids are happy in this cute little kindergarten! In the book „Why does Mum wear a hat during summer!“ the cancer free Mum goes to the kindergarten summer event and wins the sack race with her son! Maybe this is why I am so happy that the kids are fit again, so joyous that weather is splendid and I dive into rider racing, coconut shy and wheelbarrow racing. My kids are adorable and my heart jumps with joy.

I am equally exhausted when we return home and rest a bit! Chill, bake pizza with the kids and I will finish with a yin yoga workshop at I’m possible yoga with my friend & fellow Kindergarten Mum Nina 🙏

Two vomiting children and one haircut – Mum looks after the kids while Fadime at CUT trims my hair helmet and it feels sooo much better!

I have a quick coffee with Maja – I just need it, as the night was exhausting – and we kiss for charity! For every kiss selfie, gdh Germany donates €1 towards the look good feel better seminars run by DKMS LIFE in Germany. I support them, as it is one initiative for cancer patients, which does not look at cancer, but at the woman behind it and it brings normality and joy during cancer treatment – make-up can make such a difference ….. especially, when the natural look disappears along with hair, lashes and brows! Want to make a cancer patient happy?!? Donate to DKMS LIFE!

Mia is still sick during the morning, but our friends are not afraid to come around for a BBQ anyway – bless them. I will probably sit in the corner with Mia glued to me, but Leo is fit and I can do with some company after Mum left post my lymphdrainage 😉

It is all… beautiful, normal, tiring & exhausting…. the night was short – from 4am I have one kid in each arm, which makes me equally happy and tired. Mia is fine again today, but I keep her at home, as you are not allowed to send your kids, when they vomited and I feel it’s right and …. thank goodness my Mum is here. I run some errands with Mia and past lunch I am done for the day! But I can sleep and Mum takes the kids for a stroll…❤️

On my mind are a thousand things – at least I did not forget to take my chemo pills this morning 😜, but bank transfers, paperwork and a general mess of papers & things just overwhelms me. No, I did not continue my #feelgood challenge, but I will…. just not today 😴

Markus surgery was moved to next Tuesday, when the builders are here, I have to be in kindergarten in the morning and I have an onchology appointment in the afternoon, which means that I can’t even drive him despite my Mum being here to help. He does not want it anyway 😉. His insurance company granted more household aid hours, but our provider has no one available …. somehow it will all work out – it always does 😉

…and I still need to book our holiday…

I manage! I build toy trains, read books and now I am in the hammock, with a drink with Leo in his Sheriff Woody PJs running around, which makes my heart jump! He might have a little temperature, but we will see what the night brings! The alarm reminds me to take my chemo pills and the kids need me ….

I wake up and can barely open my left eye…. any need for a mosquito bite there?!? Just what I always dreamt off… not!

I spend a quiet morning in Kindergarten! Mia wants to stay for lunch and does not want to go home afterwards…. therefore we stay and I am happy that she loves it. I sit outside, write her diary, read and relax…. lovely!

My Mum prepared lunch, but this way there will be more food for me!

This afternoon, I leave the kids with my Mum and go to the cathedral to meet Libby – my Instagram bosom buddy from Florida…. whoooohoooo! We connected during our journey and found out that we were on pretty much the same schedule, ended ratiation together and the only difference is that I will now continue with chemo fun… she is on a cancer recovery tour through Europe and I am so happy she and her friends take their time to stop in Cologne for a few hours. We stroll through the cathedral, the Roman ruins and the old town, have a beer and chat away – what an uplifting experience! Her friends give me a necklace with a shell from St. Petersberg (FL), which I wear with all my wristbands ❤️

I love it when I meet the digital friends in real life! Wow! These connections are truly amazing! I never used Instagram before November and with Insta suddenly this whole community of fellow breast cancer patients opened up, inspiring, supportive, sad, emotional – some amazing friendships started here…. we go through the ups and downs and along with us a large crowd of followers, who simple support, encourage and often make me laugh! Thank you – sometimes I don’t know what I would have done without you ❤️❤️❤️

I am a bit tired, take the wrong tube and walk the rest home….I still have time to read the kids‘ bedtime story, but Mia has a little fever already and falls asleep in my arm. It was a big day and she did not nap! …..gosh, I hope I won’t fall asleep at autogenic training, but all goes well…. last time this takes place, but I take a lot of calm into my daily life – or at least that is the aim.

As I come home, Mum is Holding crying hot Mia. I calm her down, lay down with her and she pukes all over me…. my poor baby. But at least she is not as hot any more and falls asleep next to me. Here I am watching over her, hoping she will have a good night’s sleep now, listening to her breathing , being alert each time she swallows a bit louder. I am glad my Mum is here, so I can shower and then I hold her in my arm and we fall asleep …. good night all!

A mother’s summer tale…. it is 30 degrees and Mia’s first day in Kindergarten. We have a relaxed morning and after a tantrum due to the fact that Leo realizes upon arrival that he is wearing Crocs instead of sneakers 🤦‍♀️, he is super sweet and shows Mia around in her group and plays a bit with her. She then stays by herself, I sit outside and finally update the diary I write for her and we happily departed at 11am.

I just pop into our dm drugstore to quickly print off some photos for Mia’s kindergarten, when the drama starts…. my phone is not connecting to the printers and once I get it, the computer needs ages and the programme keeps shutting down…. I get assistance from a really nice employee and a stool to sit on, as I start feeling weak and Mia is whinging….

It finally works and Mia falls asleep on my arm. I have to laugh out loud, but am happy that we are seated and don’t get stressed when the colour ribbon needs changing, as I feel that Mia can do with a nap anyway.

Mia wakes up at the checkout and we stop at Tatjana Böhmer’s to stock up on berries before we have a quick lunch at Tasty Pasty …. oh, my heart jumps today, as Mia is so adorable!

We pick up Leo and relax on the terrace – I bought 30 ice sticks yesterday…. hmmm – that’s the life!

This is when cancer reality hits me again…. I am a bit tired from the heat and realize that I still have to hand in my insurance card to the doctors… I leave the kids with our household aid Jessica and sit on the tube on the way to Prof. Dr. Breidenbach…. I quickly drop off my sick notice at work and chat to my colleagues, but am tired and happy to return home!

I take it easy – my mum arrived this afternoon to stay until Saturday – and it’s the first Tuesday of the month, which is girls‘ night and today we are chilling at Bumann & Sohn’s beergarden – streetfood & cool drinks – bring it on! Yeah! A little bike ride and a bit of wind to blow through my curls is just what I need now!

This is my week without chemo pills, but I don’t think they have massive side effects anyway, but that I am still having bone aches from my previous chemo and my tiredness is due to radiation – and I hope that this is fading now, as enough is enough…. I want a bit more energy or jut less tiredness!

Summer in the city and after a short night with the kids having wild dreams, the day starts with an 8am doctor’s appointment with Mia – the annual check, where all is fine …. our babysitter Pam looks after her, while I go to music therapy and the psycho oncologist.

I really look forward to Mondays nowadays – music therapy is truly uplifting, makes me stronger, gives me energy and it is amazing how As or Us can touch you in this way, but it works. Haus LebensWert runs these therapies on donations and this is something worthwhile donating to!

I run some errands, as – whoohoooo – our household aid is sick today …. I collect Mia and we pick up Leo for an afternoon of splashpool fun – I do pimp our little pool with water toys and an inflatable flamingo …. we have icecream, I put a hammock up and for dinner I am ordering something! I need to make sure I manage my energy alright and it works!

I am calm, relaxed and cannot be bothered by anything today! I forget to do things, prepare things, whatever – today I do not care. My kids clean the windows with their foam water toys and I let them… it keeps them busy, they have fun and it is only water…. before dinner we watch Jim Knopf, which I loved as a child and I am happy and now Markus can take over, while I am in the hammock 😉

Little reward for myself? Yoga – if I ever get out of this hammock! Outlook – Mia is starting big kindergarten tomorrow!

It’s summer time, 30 degrees and we are at Svenja & Ralf’s garden party! Wow, what an event with unicorn jumping castle, trampoline, splash pool, sand pad and all the toys you need for the kids to be entertained for hours! Plus all the friends, food and drink to keep me entertained for hours! Yes, I just need to grow a beard now to look like my friend Michael 😉 We stay until the early evening, put the kids‘ PJs on and hope they fall asleep on our way home ❤️… well, there was hope, but the kids are awake despite being exhausted beyond belief.

My energy level is ok and during the low stretches, I chill in the jumping castle or in some shady seats! I am really doing well 😀

Today I have the opportunity to try a Chike – the cargo bike our friends have developed for years, which is finally available for sale! It is amazing – it feels like a proper bike, as you can cut a corners just like with an ordinary bike and as an eBike version, you can cruise effortlessly! Wow!

Despite all the fun…. it is the first! Check your boobs! If I had not felt it early enough, this story might have taken different turns – my journey is not over yet, but I am positive, as my tumor had not spread yet and at the moment I am cancer free, while radiation and chemo is trying to kill anything that might start growing again!

I have my time out with Christina and recharge my batteries… ok, I don’t leave the house until way past 8pm, there is no energy to dance the night away, but we have a nice evening with the InterNations people, sit in bed and chat a lot and I have a lay-in and a wonderful relaxed start into my day … chilling, talking, coffee … hmmm… just my thing! Thank you ❤️

Day 2 of my FeelGood challenge suggests the following practice: wear a bracelet, which is easy to remove and whenever you speak in a negative way about things you cannot change, e.g. the weather, people, whatever…, you change swap it over to the other wrist. Goal is it to wear it for 21 days on one wrist! I shall give it a go and since I wear tons of bracelets anyway (somehow the amount increased dramatically when I got my diagnosis, but I love them and try not to become Wolle Petry), I picked the one from Sonja, who I met during chemo!

The rest of the day is splash pool fun and chillaxing with the kids and my friend Doro, another kindergarten mummy and a friend, who – despite all my efforts to persuade her not to do so – moved to Jülich, comes over for coffee and cake and it is really nice to see her again! Last day I saw her was one day prior to my diagnosis …. I guess the Aloe Vera gloves and socks from her come in very handy now to prevent the red hands and feet from chemo pills 😉

#stepupfor30 finals…. what to do? Something special? Extraordinary? Well, I can barely lift my arms after tennis 😂… maybe just a quiet send off with an evening jog before it is Markus‘ time to go out tonight, but no, there is no time for that and the finale is a relaxing evening practice of yoga, which I will do right after doing posting this. Good night everyone and thank you for all your support during my 30 day challenge – keep your eyes open for my next challenge to support DKMS LIFE (a subsidiary of DKMS, who fight blood cancer through stem cell donations), who run the „look good feel better“ programme in Germany, offering cosmetic seminars and a hair programme for cancer patients!

#stepupfor30 – 1 hour of Tennis wit Lutz at Kölner Tennis Club let’s the day start on an all high, as he is the type to compliment one all the time – probably just to make sure that I book another lesson, but who cares 😉

Today is busy, as I have lymphdrainage, a little good bye in Mia’s Kindergarten, while Simone takes Leo to music school and I take both kids to Mia’s Kindergarten Summer Party…. but in return, I get the evening off, go with Christina to the InterNations TGIF Party in ABS and stay overnight at her place! A sleep in ….. whooohooooo!

First day of my chemo free week – I should be happy, full of energy, enthusiastic, as it is a nice sunny day….

What a dreadful morning – I want to rest, as I am exhausted, get stuck on stupid series (never ever did I want to start one – how could this happen?!?!)… tired, sad, thinking too much, crying …. the whole enchilada. It is times like this I reflect my whole life, think that I wanted things differently, think that at times I did not really live my life to the fullest. Well, right now I cannot do that either, but I know I need to stop thinking and start living again. Normally I am quite good at it, but when I get the blues, I am not…

Thank goodness our household is starting work in the early afternoon – shower, clean myself up, do a post office run and try to mobilize the energy to take the kids to the public pool after Kindergarten! Only then I realize that I did not drink anything all day – that will change now!

I arrive quite late at the pool, but with the kids already in their swim gear and since I did not find anyone to go with me, I go by myself, have icecream, swim, go to the playground and even manage the big slide – it is a really scary one too and if it wasn’t for the kids, I would have gone down again. I bump into Steffi and Maja and can barely say hello, but I enjoy it ❤️

The pool afternoon is a winwin, as I ask Markus to pick us up and get time to swim for 30 minutes for my #stepupfor30 challenge while they have fries, which means dinner is also sorted and we get home past bedtime. Check out tomorrow’s activity – you will be in for treat 😉

Oups – tomorrow is Mia’s last day in her baby kindergarten and I still have to bake a cake…. no problem – I have energy now and just finish before my telephone date with my ship buddy Cheryl-Ann 🤗